Pete Willett, brother of Danny Willett, the second Englishman ever to win the Masters, is a good tweeter--we knew this. Ahead of the Ryder Cup kicking off Friday at Hazeltine, Pete is letting American golf fans know exactly what he thinks of them.
Writing for National Club Golfer, Pete Willett clearly has his money on his brother and defending champion Team Europe, but acknowledges that the Americans’ greatest asset is their fans. Here, Pete describes said fans:
Team USA have only won five of the last 16 Ryder Cups. Four of those five victories have come on home soil. For the Americans to stand a chance of winning, they need their baying mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Like one of those brainless bastards from your childhood, the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly (f**k you, Paul Jennings), they only have the courage to keg you if they’re backed up by a giggling group of reprobates. Team Europe needs to shut those groupies up.
They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.
They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.
They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.
Oi! Pete! You don’t get to talk about Minnesotans that way. Only we can talk about Minnesotans that way.
I presume that the fans at Hazeltine will let Danny Willett hear all about this.