By this point we all know the deal with the Madden series, and really any sports game that has annual editions. Games of any kind should not be forced to come out every year, because that’s not long enough for programmers and developers to build a good, working game. That much is a truism. But because updated rosters aren’t considered quite enough to get fans to justify spending $60 and up on a new Madden, they try to cram in some new stuff: new graphics, new modes, new mechanics, but with not nearly enough time to actually build these things from scratch, so instead the additions get welded on to the existing (and increasingly tortuous) infrastructure, and that leads to all kinds of weirdness that shows up as, occasionally, absurd glitches like this one. It would be better for everyone if sports games could take, say, three or four years between editions to really build up something fresh and functional. Players would like it, and developers sure as hell would like it. But executives would not, because despite every single Madden edition being a mess and none of them feeling particularly different from the previous year, they still all sell a billion copies, and so nothing will ever change.
Okay, bring on more good glitches. This one is incredible, as a long snapper just plain refuses to snap the ball, and as the punter looks on, the other 21 other players just scramble endlessly for what they’re programmed to believe is a loose ball.
Stick with the video despite its length, because only things get weirder. Because as whichever Colquitt brother that is looks on at the scrum, things start ... happening to him.
Mmhm.
Uh....
Seriously, what the fuck? Dude’s over here possessed by the Blair Witch while the lineman wage a forever war.
Then the pile bowls over Colquitt. And so he must sit there as the battle goes on.
And then the play stops, eventually, for some reason. It’s not clear why, but on the replay, the O-lineman who now has the ball levitates while his right leg begins corkscrewing endlessly. This is football in the Cenobites’ dimension?
Here’s another couple glitches because I like you. Madden Le’Veon Bell has a new skill: tele-goddamn-portation.
And a center gets caught butt-flossing: