Baseball writer Peter Gammons is a favorite around these parts, mostly because on Twitter he’s notorious for gems like this:
Or this:
Or this:
Or this:
Or this:
Or this:
You get the gist. Wait—or this:
This month, however, Gammons has moved to a different kind of incomprehensibility. Even grading this tweet on a curve, I have no clue what “Yankees suck” and “Lock her up” have in common beyond the same number of syllables:
This one is a sugar-free substitute for an actual thought:
This one is ... not bad. It feels like a spiritual spinoff of Jon Heyman’s legendary “Blackfan” tweet:
Gammons, a contributor to The Athletic, still has typos, but now they come within intentional tweets:
That brings us to today, in which Gammons tried to form a thought on Astros infielder Alex Bregman’s ribbing of the Red Sox by bringing in a story about Bregman’s great-grandfather Bo, and mashed it all up:
To the person who taught Peter Gammons how to actually use Twitter: Please fix this mistake and let him go back to butt tweets. Thank you.