Having personally brokered peace for all time between the U.S. government and North Korea, basketball Hall of Famer and all-around goof Dennis Rodman spends his time nowadays, among other things, being accused of stealing 400-pound amethyst crystals from Orange County, California yoga studios.
According to a report from Los Angeles Times, Ali and Ariana Shah, owners of the Vibes Hot Yoga studio in Newport Beach, say Rodman on two occasions entered their business and, along with a couple associates, ripped off $3,500 in merchandise, including a “ginormous geode amethyst crystal” the group hauled out of there after accidentally smashing it to bits.
Shah said a man whom he identified as Rodman walked into the shop with a former Vibes employee and another man and woman just before the shop was scheduled to close at 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.
“It’s clear as daylight,” Shah said of the security footage.
Vibes claims the four worked in coordination to distract an employee so they could steal clothes from displays.
Here, for your enjoyment, is nine minutes of Dennis Rodman moseying around a Yoga retailer in blue track pants. By all means, stick around for the entire thing, but the very best part happens just 30 seconds in, when a man lifts the enormous crystal off the check-out desk, takes two steps toward a waiting dolly, and then just dumps the crystal on the ground, where it explodes. At the four-minute mark, you can watch them sweeping up a huge spray of crystal smithereens:
It’s a video that rewards close viewing. If you can drag your eyes away from the sight of the man fumbling and destroying a $2,500 crystal, for example, you will see the alleged coordinated maneuver in action, as a woman in the foreground at that very moment hastily jams an article of clothing into her purse.
Rodman told TMZ that he and his pals were in fact there to help move the crystal, and that they were given permission by the staff on hand to treat themselves to “a couple gifts” as a token of gratitude. This will ring true to anyone who’s familiar with the standard retail policy, posted in shops across the land: “You break it, you please accept our gratitude and help yourself to a thousand bucks worth of free stuff.”
Rodman and an associate apparently returned the following afternoon, whereupon they allegedly shoplifted more merchandise from the store. Per the Times report:
On Wednesday, a different employee arrived to open the studio at 4:30 p.m. for afternoon and evening yoga classes and found two people outside.
Shah said surveillance video shows Rodman, whom the employee didn’t recognize, again trying to distract the employee as a woman, whom Shah said also was there the day before, grabbed three or four articles of merchandise, hangers and all. The two were in the studio for about 10 minutes, Shah said.
In addition to the destruction of the huge rock and the theft of many pairs of expensive leggings, Rodman and his alleged collaborators are accused of causing $5,000 worth of damage to the studio’s floor.