“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

(Meanwhile just outside the Sol system at a lone alien monitoring post)
Alien 1: “So what did they do today?”
Alien 2: “Well a bunch of the creative ones paid actual resources and spent months playing a space simulator that involves travel and economics. Then another group of humans decided to do the same, but with the… Read more

The middle east was the height of culture and civilization at one point in time. Read more

“Space Exxon” Read more

L2P. (learn to punt?) git gud :D
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Its because conservatives don’t really think critically. They react emotionally. Read more

… isn’t he the only R in congress promising committee hearings into the Russian connections… Read more

I assume it’s something more along the lines of “CEO’s have an important role in an organization, but are not worth 200x the average employees salary”. Read more

AND WHERE DO THEY TEND TO LIVE? IN CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISESESES. CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISEES HAVE ACRONYMS, LIKE LA OR NYC OR CHICAGO... CEO IS ALSO AN ACRONYM, WHICH REARRANGED SPELLS “OPEC”, BUT WITHOUT THE “P”. WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE PEE? SEA ANEMONES. ANEMONES IS A HOMONYM WITH ENEMY AND CEOS ARE THE… Read more

I guess ESPN took up a lot of his time. Read more

Oh yeah, this is totally Earth-2 or something. Over on Earth-1, Hillary Clinton is president; Batman v Superman wasn’t a steaming pile of garbage; Prince, David Bowie, and Carrie Fischer are still alive and well; and the Falcons are Super Bowl champions. Read more

We’re like two years from this:

Welcome to Trump’s America: Where everything is a cheap knockoff! Read more

After you stopped watching to write this, he asked a black reporter to set up a meeting with the black caucus, blamed an uptick in Nazi graffiti on “the other side,” and, fuck, probably a few other things but I’m high now because weed is medicine and I’m very sad. Read more

My god, Texas is in a perpetual one-upmanship contest with itself to elect the floppiest white guy possible. Their next two governors will be a tray of Vanilla Jell-O, followed by an actual quivering lump of semen. Read more

I goatse what you did there. Read more

This seems like an appropriate time to mention that his name is an anagram for EMBRACE MOTHER. Read more

Why is this on my car blog?!?!? Read more

Good article. Even the most obtuse Trump supporter should be able to rationalize that Russia didn’t seek to influence this election in order to ensure that the strongest candidate won. They wanted (and got) the naive, exploitable guy. Read more

Not being able to let go of the smallest thing, suggesting his opponents are mentally unstable, and conspicuous files of paper that no one gets to see? Dolan 2024! Read more