If you’re an average, out-of-shape 35-year-old, a world class keeper isn’t going to have to guess where you’re kicking. He’s going to wait for you to kick it and then make the save. Read more

Card players for diving. Card players for delay of game. Card them early, card them often. Read more

I’m going to miss Deadspinners clicking on the article, going to the comments, and then complaining about how esports articles are on Deadspin. Read more

One that ends abruptly. Read more

And yet the NFL is OK with obscenities like “GABBERT” and “OSWEILER” Read more

Here in SF there’s so many Mexican-Americans sporting the national team shirts and walking around with huge smiles on their faces that it’s really hard to not root for them. Especially when, you know, this hasn’t been the best couple of years for them in this country. Read more

Brown people and gay people together?  Trump and Pence were probably beside themselves this morning. Read more

I regret not flying to OC now to visit my friends, I would happily be the one Dominican guy celebrating with the Mexican fans right now. Read more

Since the streets were packed, how far could you punt a soccer ball?
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No, he took a crotch... That is to say, watch your back in 2020, Mike Pence. Read more

Yeah, I’m sure Jameis will never work in this town again.  Read more

Of everyone in the comments, you would know. BTW, aside from finally getting my computer working again a few minutes ago (it was dead since Sunday), having you reply made my day. Read more

He will be bringing a handheld PA and microphone to his local Chili’s during the lunch rush. He made flyers for the self-arranged event using MS Paint, and has stapled them to several dozen phone poles around Bristol, CT. Read more

Wait, has Danny from Olgwalla weighed in on this? Have they been holding out on the report? The readership NEEDS TO KNOW Read more

Sorry they haven’t printed your tip about LeBron definitely going to the Timberwolves. They’ve got to spread these things out; be patient.
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This is where human judgment is most important. A hard brake may or may not useful in scenarios involving sudden lane change of the car in front of you: Read more

You dum dum, their source is Danny from Odwalla. The scion of the overpriced juice empire. That man has clout. Read more

You and I both know that LeBron is gonna sign in the Turkish league and dare Enes Kanter to come get some. Ship it. Read more

Thats the great thing about Deadspin. Anyone can post anything. Read more

You mean “Tom Ley” isn’t just a pen name for Danny from Olgwalla? Read more