The only universe in which “Randy Johnson” is a cool name is one where “Randy Johnson” is skinny, 6-foot-10, and has wildman hair. So congrats to Randy Johnson for not only overcoming a dorky name but making it cool. Read more

SOFT Read more

Old Testament names have always been cool. Read more

A good name, but *maybe* trying a little too hard. Read more

That era was a goldmine. Rube Marquard, Burleigh Grimes, URBAN SHOCKER Read more

If Ricky Bones pronounced his last name like he should have, instead of like “bonus,” he’d have been worth another 15 WAR. Read more

Musical. A seven-syllable (non-hyphenated) full name almost cannot fail to be good. Read more

Part of a constellation of great S- names. Scherzer, Sutton, Smoltz, Schilling, Spahn, Sain. Read more

Objectively a very cool name, though a little unexpected from a fireballer. Read more

“Jack Morris” had no choice but to have a mustache and a scowl. Read more

Tom Seaver is the name of a man who keeps in shape in the winter by hammering fenceposts. Great name: screams dependability. Read more

Rollie Fingers is a wonderful name for a greased-up-looking reliever with a tricky sinker. Maybe the perfect name. He’s gonna get the save, and then he’s going to con you out of 40 bucks on your way back to your car. Read more

I think you have to take his birth name into account: Sanford Braun. Read more

The cool thing is that these shirts are made to order, so there’s no reason we couldn’t offer really specific designs that wouldn’t necessarily have mass appeal. Read more

For an example of some more creative or site-specific gear, the Jalopnik store has a few actually cool designs. Read more

ehhhh Read more

whisk Read more

For reasons I couldn’t have articulated even then, I was real big on Wade Boggs. Read more

Uh, as opposed to...? Read more

That’s personally how I feel (I had my great jersey giveaway about 5 years ago), but I’m also not about to tell another fan how to express their fandom. Read more