My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed. Read more

In short: the DH can go fuck itself. Read more

I don’t get how the Dave/Drew thing is a burn Read more

“But Harbaugh”, asked reporters, “what of illegals on our shores?”
“12 to 15 million, all working class or poor,
What shall we tell the teeming masses yearning at our door?”
Quoth the Ravens, “never more.”
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JESUS, that’s terrifying. Read more

Tough but fair. Read more

What NFL coach doesn’t want total control of his players? Read more

This is precisely the point. The “reasonable” explanation is something every coach on the planet would be guilty of, making Chip’s players’ airing of grievances even less common if something isn't up. Read more

Wait. Deadspin reporting on how a couple of pretty good professional football players have hinted that Chip has issues with black people is an agenda? Or that some of the players let go definitely didn’t get the Eagles fair market value? Read more

Was there a trampling? Man, I hope there was a trampling.
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It is a good diss track - both of them were.
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Leave the Phils out of this. Read more

I’ve hit a second wind and it’s even funnier now. I’ll never grow tired of Goodell fucking up. Read more

Sounds like it was this guy

You guessed it, Frank Stallone!

It’s that dastardly prankster Greg Maddux at it again. Read more

The catcher extending his arm to catch it was also an illusion? Read more