Oh hell yes. In fact, I look back now and wonder why I DIDN'T take them. It sounds like sacrilege, but, think about it. Unless you are already very famous and well known in the game, if you test positive you're a one day headline—and that's it. If you're a second tier player and you do PEDs to get yourself in position… Read more

Yes. But it's difficult because it's a 160 game schedule and just monitoring is treating a symptom, not a fix. It's actually because baseball monitors and monetizes injury in a risk/reward fashion that many players will use the drugs to stay OUT of the training room. Once you get a record for infirmity, it follows you… Read more

Hell yes. Helllll yes. Read more

I actually really feel bad that people think it's Brett Cecil. Brice is a conglomerate of characters and Brett is a WONDERFUL guy—he's not Brice. "Squints" wouldn't hurt a fly. Super nice and easy going. I wish him all the best in his career. But, to answer your question, no delt-smashes yet, and I will say that most… Read more

Actually, I didn't mind the shit-storm. I didn't go looking for it either. I may not have said the comments as flippantly as I did, but still saw what I saw. The mistake I made was thinking that more people would react to it with a, "yeah, so does every other pitcher" because, honestly, SO DOES EVERY OTHER PITCHER.… Read more

What's the least awkward is a better question... gosh. Probably when Giles ran up and down the team jet buck naked save for a blanket around his neck and a pillow on his head screaming about how we all needed to TAKE THE FUCKING GAME SERIOUSLY! Side note, he tans EVERYTHING. I think he tried to T bag one of the… Read more

Scary and awesome at the same time. On one hand, you're both in the same profession now. In the other hand, you can't not idolize them and stumble all over yourself. I was pretty much a train wreck in all social situations at the major league level, so my awkwardness around the big names I looked upon as heroes seemed… Read more

I live in Cleveland, where, when you ask your child what he learned in school the common response is, "how to make a shank out of a tooth brush".... So, Tampa Bay is might as well be the Emerald City to me. Read more

It's bragable. Impresses a lot of the junior execs around the water cooler. They're all like, "I wish my name was porny like yours" and I'm all like, "pshhh-ya, Tots you do." *Hi-fives*. Read more

Without question. Read more

I like movies with gladiators in them. And movie reviews by gladiators. Read more

Baseball allowed me to not have to deal with my psychological issues—as long as I was healthy and successful. Since most of my career was fringey at best, I had a really hard time dealing with anxiety and depression. Of course, I didn't know that's what it was at the time. I always thought it was just normal… Read more

lol. I can't remember back to elementary—thanks mostly to lots of psychological help and heavy drinking—but in high school it was mostly "Virgin". Read more

Diggler for his bold portrayal of man who could run distance or track because he was constantly encumbered with a 10+ inch member. Poor guy... Then everyone else. Read more

Meh, that Canadian translation loses something for me. I mean, "hosers" and "Ass Hats" and "Dusters".... say what? It's a shame their aren't more canadian players because they've probably find that more amusing. But they've got a lot of heart. And TwTh= The will to heckle. Read more

Fourth, and most importantly:

Third, and this is for Raysism, if you took all the night after gift baskets Derek Jeter has dispensed in his career and lined them up in one long row—THAT is how far I can punt a football. Read more

Second, my latest book, Bigger Than The Game (yes, the fourth book by a guy who had less time in the big leagues than the average fruit fly) is probably my most important. It talks openly about how easy it is for people in "prestige" professions to stay mute in regards to their mental illness, stigmatize others as… Read more

First, allow me to open by expressing how thankful I am, not only have my book excerpted on Deadspin, but also to get to do this live chat with all of you. Cliche to say that? maybe, but the fact is it's a privilege to be here. I mean, look and my career numbers for chrissake— its a privilege for me to be anywhere! Read more