Thank you for the Fitbit deal. Mother’s Day gift (by request, I’m not some insensitive jackass). Read more

Thank you for the Fitbit deal. Mother’s Day gift (by request, I’m not some insensitive jackass).

Yeah. Sometimes he’ll deactivate and come back later as something else so you don’t know who the new guy in your timeline is, but he’ll be there. Read more

Yes, that’s right. Read more

Mr. Baseball is a guy named Dwayne, who is a wonderfully smart writer that constantly changes his character and deactivates his account about twice a month. He’s been a guy mourning the loss of his son to a Burlington Coat Factory, a roof, cigarette enthusiast and on and on. So depending on how the Twitter embed…

A player averaging 8ppg could never win Sixth Man of the Year, but Beno was one of the best backup guards in the league this year and he should probably switch salaries with Jeff Green. Read more

Finally, someone is going in on parents. Read more

A blogger guaranteeing his headline is like David Eckstein calling his shot out to left field. Good effort, Scrappy-doo. Read more

I'm in hell.

Is Samuel Smith Chocolate Stout considered good? I think it's the only stout I've ever had, but I really loved it. But I like Guinness, too! Read more

Yes, that's true. All colleges are funneled to the state comptroller for oversight purposes. Read more

For anyone following along, here is the media relations site, which seems to go out of its way to make sure you know it'll cost you time and money to get anything done: Read more

I've got multiple gmail tabs pulled up, you tell me where to send it and I'm slamming the keyboard so hard I'll have to reboot the computer. Read more

When is Foodspin going to be on Pinterest?! That's all I want to know. Read more

Imagining you copying and pasting a 10,000 word rant into the tiny Kinja box and watching the formatting go down like a house of cards >>>> Read more

This list really weirdly stuck Dominic Monaghan into Ken Leung's X-Men: Wolverine role, but I doubt it would have changed the rankings much. Read more

Buhhhhhh. Guhhhhh. Read more

And thereafter, the mythological grammatical construction known as the triple parenthetical was christened "The Burneko". Read more

Got it. Read more

Gosh, I don't think a judge could overturn this if his life depended on it. Read more

I am becoming seriously frustrated trying to explain this to you, so this is my last attempt. Read more