“Can you expand” Read more

I love those electric tennis rackets, but one time I saw a big, fat fly buzzing around and I caught him in mid-air and I swear the fucker caught fire briefly and it came storming after me. I literally dropped the racket and ran. Read more

I grew up in Maine, where our State Bird is the mosquito, and spent a summer in Freetown, Sierra Leone, where the mosquitoes occasionally carried off small dogs and cats. Citronella candles? Useless. Stationary zappers? Useless. 90% DEET spray? Fuckers land right where I sprayed it just to mock me.

Handheld electric… Read more

Oh, I thought this was going to be about ordering enough food to feed 4 people and then yelling to your imaginary family “Food’s here!” so that the delivery guy doesn’t think you’re a loser ordering a single serving of orange chicken on a Friday night. Read more

I freely admit to being a lazy bum, but marijuana legally delivered to my home really is a game-changer. I like to time my order so that it arrives ten minutes before the Chinese is delivered. Read more

Here is what I do... keep in mind I am late 30s, single dad who is doing all he can to stay afloat... I have come to realize your real friends wont give a fuck how much money you have... from just a few drinks, to a trip to the Oregon coast... real friends cover your ass. If have had a lot of acquaintances come and… Read more

I’ve seen friendships ruined over this, particularly in regards to weddings. The bride or maid of honor are well off, so that means a Vegas bachellorette party, weekend spa for a shower, $300 shoes for bridesmaids. It can run in the thousands. This is planned without any regards to their friend’s finances. In fact,… Read more

I’ve found that all my friends were really understanding when I was honest because, let’s face it, we’ve all been there. Read more

worms are not bugs unsubscribe Read more

That’s very helpful. But what if you had no friends to begin with? Read more

I’m 31 and newly married to someone 5 years younger than me, and we are in no rush at all to have kids. I’ll happily be an old dad. A good chunk of my friends are late 20's to early 30's and already have at least one kid, some have two. I’m so goddamn tired of their kids being all over the place that my wife and I… Read more

Steph Curry is 28. 28 backwards is 82. Steph curry is known for shooting, or Shooting Basketballs Accurately. SBA, translated to numbers, is 584. 584 plus 82 is 666.

Steph Curry is the devil. Read more

Who the hell as a cat that will stay still for this? If I approached my cat with this thing in my mouth she would a) rake her razor claws across my eyes and then b) shoot from my grasp like a lightning bolt, never to be held again. Read more

So to clarify, we can ONLY use this on cats? Asking for a friend. Read more

Wow, I was totally about to rag on Cooke for having a backwards “J” on one of the boots in the image, but that’s how it actually appears on the show. Fuck them for teaching my kids illertiracy. Read more

I feel as if this post is speaking directly to me. I work for a PEO, or Professional Employer Organization, which in and of itself, is corporate speak. Basically, your company hires us to handle your payroll, benefits and HR services so you can focus solely on making $$. I was hired as a Client-Prospect Coordinator… Read more

My current pet peeve with business talk is changing nouns to verbs and vice versa. “Ask” has become a noun. “What’s the ask here?”
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A company sponsored cruise around the harbor on a Tuesday is not a day off from work—it’s a forced hangout on a boat with a bunch of people who, if it were an actual day off, you probably wouldn’t choose to hangout with.

It can be genuinely difficult for someone raised on a typical American diet to transition to vegetarianism simply because their entire lives (almost) every meal has had meat as a center point. Giving them something familiar to eat can allow them to more easily make that transition. Read more

I have a bottle of the mother apple cider vinegar sitting in my cupboard. I have been pondering trying it for health reasons. I don’t have GERD but have heard it can help you out in general. Do you mix it with the water or shoot the vinegar and chase with the water? Read more