@Steve U: For sale: one Trojan, never worn. Read more

@NotMyFirstRo-Day-O: "Misappropriated"? Read more

@NYSportsJerk: Kudos. You have exposed my raging bias against ... pointing out umpire incompetence? Read more

@lesfurniture: I was not squinting hard enough, then. My apologies. Read more

@Loose Cannon: I promoted lesfurniture's comment for a reason, but I'm not sure it refutes anything except my one aside about Warrick Dunn. (Dunn, as I recall, was usually described in terms of his athleticism — "quick," a "waterbug," etc. At no point during Monday's broadcast was it pointed out that wee Danny runs a… Read more

@lesfurniture: I stand corrected. You google better than I do. Read more

@dylanmiles66: You were the one arguing — fecking archly, at that — that my writing the word "balls" in a post (which never made any claims at being literature, incidentally) somehow rendered me unworthy of criticizing the yam-ripplingly awesome John Updike. That's what you might call an arguably dumb point for… Read more

@Lionel Osbourne: "Faye took him in hand. He slipped in. He became an adulterer. He went for the last inch. She grunted, at her own revelation. His was that her cunt did not feel like Phyllis's. Smoother, somehow simpler, its wetness less thick, less of a sauce, more of a glaze." Read more

@DirkToberFest: "Standing with her in the warming waterfall, soaping her skin so its yielding silk was overlaid with a white grease, and then letting her soap him in turn, he felt his cashew become a banana, and then a rippled yam, bursting with weight." Read more

@Phintastic: Ah. Figures that a lapsed Unitarian wouldn't get the reference. The line is 10 times more grating now that I know. Read more

@dylanmiles66: Yeah, and this, too, right? Read more

@Pete Gaines: I'm all natural. Read more

@FavreFAIL: With the photo it just seemed a touch too on the nose. Read more

@FavreFAIL: The thought did occur to me ... Read more

@Delonte, Interrupted: Wow. Yours is better than mine. Read more

@NotMyFirstRo-Day-O: lol Read more

@SideAngleSide: I believe my answer was a windy way of saying, "I reject the premise of the question." Read more

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Well, for starters, how do you even define PEDs? Isn't cortisone performance-enhancing, strictly speaking? Can't it be abused just as easily as any anabolic steroid? Doesn't caffeine help, too? The line between good drugs and naughty, naughty PEDs is, if not completely arbitrary, based on a lot of… Read more

@sweatingmullets: I can report he is alive and well and hard at work on his next essay. Read more

@Kofi Appiah Biney: Snort. Read more