Chicago: Bulls 79, Nets 76
Bricks. Everyone shot lots and lots of bricks. The Bulls finished the game with a team shooting percentage of 39.7 percent, and the Nets outdid them with a 34.6 percent mark. Gross. The Bulls have a 2-1 series lead.

Memphis: Grizzlies 94, Clippers 82
Good news, we still have a series on our hands. Zach Randolph finally got his shit together, scoring 27 points and grabbing 11 rebounds. Meanwhile, Chris Paul had an off night, finishing with eight points, four assists, and five turnovers. The Clippers have a 2-1 series lead.

I walked right into that one! Read more

I almost fell out of my chair from embarrassment when that guy started talking about how tall Curvin Johnson is. Read more

So I love this video, and the Coachella one, but man are they cringe-inducing. By the end, I just feel really, really bad for these poor, embarrassing people. Read more

Hey check this out, we reversed the GIF because we are here to do important work:

Yeah, Cameron's mom needs to read a science magazine. Read more

Anaheim: Rangers 11, Angels 3
This game was over by the fourth inning, which is boring. But an umpire took a fastball right to the ding dong, which is not boring.

Edmonton: Blackhawks 4, Oilers 1
The Hawks clinched the Presidents' Cup with this win (that means they have the most points in the league, hockey noobs). Patrick Kane led the way with a goal and two assists.

Denver: Rockies 6, Braves 5
The Rockies scored two runs on Craig Kimbrel in the ninth, proving that he is in fact human, and then rallied again in the 11th, winning on a walk-off single from Yorvit Torrealba.

Baltimore: Blue Jays 6, Orioles 5
The Jays tried their hardest to herp and derp this one away, but then the O's herped and derped right back, walking in the game-winning run in the 11th inning.

San Antonio: Spurs 102, Lakers 91
Tony Parker torched the Lakers for 28 points while Tim Duncan and Kawhi Leonard each chipped in 16. Forbidden from tweeting about the game, we assume that Kobe Bryant spent the night scrawling defensive instructions on his walls.

Indianapolis: Pacers 113, Hawks 98
The series that nobody cares about gave us two dunks that we should very much care about. Good lord.

Oklahoma City: Thunder 105, Rockets 102
This was the kind of shootout we were all hoping this series would give us. James Harden and Patrick Beverley (?) went head-to-head with Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook all night, and it was fun to watch. Unfortunately, this series will be over sooner rather than later.

Yes, exactly. Read more

Very good. Read more

sorry that was uncalled for Read more

shut up Read more

Here is where I would like to add that, as a Nuggets fan, I hope Steph Curry slips and breaks both of his ankles while getting out of the shower this morning. Read more

Salt Lake City: Mormon bishop defends himself with a samurai sword?
Mormon bishop defends himself with a samurai sword.