I spent the last few weeks thinking of a tree that we used to have in the backyard of our old house. All those hours I spent under that tree looking up as the sunlight dripped like honey through the leaves. When the thin cold wire of time wasn’t pressing pushing tight against my neck. There was time back then. There’s… Read more

pretty darn close

I was just in Vegas talking about whether Bill Simmons sucks now with my buddies Gonzo, Roach, and J-Shart. We all used to read him back in college when the four of us shared a house. Back then, I’d read Page 2 on my laptop while I was dropping the kids off at the pool, until freaking J-Shart would break in and drop… Read more

Unless you have another post in the pipeline, the money quote from the Times article is nowhere to be found on Deadspin. From John Skipper: Read more

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking. Read more

When I was 11 I was at a week long hockey camp at the University of Maine. My best friend and I realized a couple days in that - cut off from TV (this was 1994) and playing hockey 10 hours a day - no one had any idea of what was going on in the world. Read more

I’d announce that Tim Tebow has been signed by The Cleveland Browns. Read more

I would start sliding into a bunch of sports writer’s DMs asking them to write puff-pieces on various high profile athletes because, “Some negative information is going to be revealed soon”. Time to see who actually cares about the shield’s wishes. Read more

“The Washington Redskins are on indefinite hiatus until they change the name of the team.” Read more

Just keep tweeting the same, straightforward NFL “news” that the account has always tweeted so that when 2,234 people retweet a short highlight video of an obscure, but talented safety who resigned with the Browns I can finally know what it feels like to be loved. Read more

For baseball, I would only tweet the losses by the Cardinals, nothing more. Read more

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the entire Curry family and Golden State organization on this tragic day” Read more

1. Delete all tweets. Read more

I think some plausible relocation news (NHL Carolina—>Vegas for instance) is a pretty solid way to terror into a fan’s heart for a brief second. Read more

I wouldn’t tweet a thing, just start following depraved porn accounts, racist accounts, etc, and then let somebody else discover it. Read more

Lucio is the perfect character to play stoned. All you do is switch between some sweet tunes, rollerskate on some walls, help out your buds, and maybe blast someone off a ledge here and there. It’s a goddamn joy. Read more

I’m in my 30's and remember playing a Call of Duty game with my nephew and niece ages 11 and 9 at the time. They lit me the fuck up and that’s when I knew I was officially old. Little bastards. Read more

Maybe. But its not like it is unprecedented.

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