Colin Kaepernick was in a private room on the sixth floor of a West Side event space, standing in front of a white scrim festooned with corporate logos and posing for photos with a succession of lesser VIPs. He was there as the "surprise guest" of Deadspin's Super Bowl party last night, which is another way of saying he was a paid spokesmodel for the party's sponsor, and he was playing the role to the hilt—fingerless gloves, black trenchcoat, shades with gradient lenses. You can pull off that kind of look when you happen to be Colin Kaepernick. Well, him or Knight Rider.
I asked if we could step aside for a moment. It's always better to interview people in a more comfortable setting, even if asking a famous person, "Hey, can we talk over here?" makes you sound like an eighth grader about to ask a girl out to a fucking movie.
Hey Colin, can I get you over on the couch in a couple minutes? To sit. Nothing weird.
"All right."
We went over by the couch, but did not sit on it.
Are you staying in town for the game?
"No, I'm leaving right before the game."
Are you gonna watch the game?
"No."
Too painful?
"Yeah. Can't watch that [laughs]."
Did your performance in the NFC title game anger you?
"The two turnovers before that [last pick] were stupid. The last one was like … it hits you. 'Cause if you throw it a foot farther, we're in the Super Bowl and everyone's like, 'Oh that's the greatest comeback ever! You're a great quarterback!' But I'm gonna play to try to make a play."
Did you talk to Crabtree about Sherman afterward?
"Not really."
Did you give a shit about what Sherman said? Did it bother you?
"Oh, I think so. I hadn't heard Crabtree say anything about him. Anything personal. And for you to come out in an interview that was .… The question wasn't even directed toward that, and you just went off on a tangent. Just like, 'Oh, you're a mediocre receiver' and this and that. Really? You're gonna call him a mediocre receiver?"
When you know he's not. He's pretty good!
"Exactly. You forgot last year … when he went for a hundred on you when we played you guys up here? Come on."
(For the record, I checked the game logs and this is not true: In two games against Seattle in 2012, Crabtree had 96 total yards and no scores.)
Did you ever see the side-by-side comparison of your Instagram account and Russell Wilson's Instagram account?
"Yeah."
What'd you think of that?
"You can skew anything to make it look how you want to look. I have pictures with kids from the charity I work with. I have pictures of my family. I have pictures of fans. You just took the ones you wanted to make it look a certain way."
Did you bitch out Harbaugh about his pants?
"[Laughs.] We're gonna try and get him some different ones. We're gonna try to switch it up for him."
Hilarious photo via Getty.