1. Chicken
2. Shrimp
3. Beef
4. "Oriental"*
5. Pork
6. Hot & Spicy Chicken
7. Creamy Chicken
8. Being hit by a car
9. Cheddar Cheese
*Tastes better than Beef; docked points for being called "Oriental," both because, first of all, what the fuck is "Oriental" flavor, and secondly, "Oriental"? Really?