Everyone knows that hockey dads and football dads and lacrosse dads are crazy, but did you know that swimming dads can be just as nuts? They can! A tipster just forwarded us the following email, which was sent by one angry parent to the other members of his kid's swim team board (names have been redacted).
Subject: Swim Team Plan
[Redacted],
I have not heard any results from the swim board meeting today. However I did hear about an email sent to [redacted] about organizing a membership drive for SRG. I will speak for the [redacted] family when I say absolutely not. We will do nothing to help this bunch of fucking incompetents. I am also a little pissed that while I am gone people would have the nerve to try and task my wife to help fix this abortion while I am out on training. Like she doesn't have enough shit to do, especially with me away. [redacted] is a fucking moron and will run the pool into the ground along with the rest of his asshole cronies. We either appeal to [redacted] and have him give the pool to the swim board when SRG defaults on opening or we force SRG to have elections and get responsible people into that board to try and fix it. I have offered to help when I return home. That offer is now rescinded. Additionally I did not offer the help of my wife to organize a campaign, pass out flyers and work with a small group to solve SRG problems. And another thing, this might sound selfish but I am getting more and more pissed off by the moment. This pool is not in my fucking neighborhood. I am glad to have the pool and glad to have a place for my kids to swim. And I want to help the community. But it is your neighbors in the Saratoga subdivision that have enabled these fuck-ups to ruin your pool. [redacted], [redacted], [redacted]....these morons belong to you. IT is your responsibility. I am done.
So next time you come up with a neat little plan to pass the buck don't look at me.
How dare you lay this shit at my wife's feet.
I expected better from you.
Solve this shit yourself. You allowed it to happen.
"Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."
I have no idea if that Star Wars quote at the end is this guy's email signature, or if he just thought that would be the perfect zinger to end his scathing rant with. Either way, I'm glad it's there.