Should Donovan McNabb have been driving while under the influence of an alcoholic substance? What do you think? Read more

I honestly don't know how Boehim can recruit going forward. He used to be able to say if you come to Syracuse, you'll get to play in NCAA tourneys and do Fine. What can he say now? Read more

But he's only been through two strikes. Read more

Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing. Read more

I found something interesting. I found it interesting that you think I'm going to read through all that shit and do your job for you. Read more

Phelps's eyes were bloodshoot, "his speech was mush mouth," Read more

I'm sorry.. too busy making the money sign. Read more

Before anyone ever cared who's head I would cover, I was just pate skin from Northeast Ohio. It's where I was covered. It's where I furrowed. It's where I burgeoned. It's where I was combed. It holds a special place in my follicles. People there have seen me grow up. I sometimes feel like I'm their bald spot. Their… Read more

King: This is delicious, Roger, really good chili. Read more

Hell, I'd never shower with the guy. Or, for that matter, any other guy. Or girl. Hell no. That's just not how I roll. And I'm damn sure not about to shower in an open locker room. Hello, what about privacy? Who are these people who are showering in front of all these other people? Not me, that's who. Everyone rubbing… Read more

The haircut says "I dig chicks" while the mustache says "did you not fucking hear the haircut?" Read more

At least he died doing what he loved: ruining a soccer game for everyone else involved. Read more

Catanzaro: [Negotiates Log Grip]
Catanzaro: [Handles Salmon Ladder]
Catanzaro: [Scales Warped Wall]
Color Guy: Catanzaro is killing it so far. KILLING it!
Play-By-Play Guy: But here's where it gets tricky.
Catanzaro: [Jumps over Slow and Low]
Catanzaro: [Dodges Hawaiian Punch]
Catanzaro: [Finishes Chicken Fingers With Deadly… Read more

I thought you needed three rings for a circus. Read more

Onazi: OHNOOHNOOHNO Read more

Father Duck: [comes home]
Father Duck: [hangs up coat]
Father Duck: [slumps onto recliner]
Father Duck: Quaaaaaack.
Mother Duck: Quack?
Father Duck: Quack quack. Quack quack quaaaaack quack quack.
Mother Duck: [nervously fingers apron]
Mother Duck: Quack... quack quack quack.
Father Duck: QUACK?? QUACK QUACK QUACK!
Daughter… Read more

I bet you Jeter's kids will give him a "World's Greatest Dad" mug every year, despite the overwhelming evidence that he's not even in the top 10 greatest dads. Read more

Oh please, watch me play the world's smallest violin. Read more

A bucket was placed at his feet. Read more

According to family friends who saw her on Tuesday, Chamoun's conservative Sunni mother was extremely embarrassed, or mildly embarrassed, or very proud, or frowning, or sticking out her tongue. Read more