"DAD! My girlfriend and I just performed oral sex on one another!" Read more

What a catastrophe Read more

I've got high hopes for Lanny in the Olympics. From what I hear, her competitors can't hit the side of a her. Read more

aren't biathletes banned from this year's games? Read more

Shouldn't Arizona's arrow point south? Read more

I'm just happy you're vacuuming! (Official Clean Person stance is that you should pick it up and put it in the trash rather than risk ruining your vacuum by forcing it to pick up something that it's already rejected, but I do understand how satisfying it can be to force the vacuum and the object to submit to your… Read more

Best I can do: This isn't a great photo of him (smartphone camera in a dark hotel lobby), but here is Albert at the Gawker Media holiday party. Read more

Look, you may not like them, but there's no need to publicly embarrass the Family Guy writers. Read more

They are, in fact, much more likely to be the victims of violence than perpetrators themselves. Read more

It's a clever homage to the fact that most people who eat at Jimmy John's are high/wasted. Read more

It would have been 64 but he rimmed out a five footer. Read more

you mother fu..... Read more

"the star is suspicious" Read more

Hey man, I'd like to start out by saying I couldn't be a bigger fan of your work. And I'd like to continue that line of thought by thanking you for deleting my insensitive comment on the Jameis Winston thread. It was inappropriate. Read more

I feel like the Sincerity Index™ of your reply is awfully low. Read more

Here's a great Baseball Reference list of HOF candidates, sorted by a simple yet effective metric: a number averaging total career WAR (rewarding longevity) with top-7-season WAR (rewarding dominance).

Jacque Jones: [refreshes] Read more

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. Read more