"Fuckin' noobs. If you really wanna burn Shaun White, all you gotta do is rise." Read more

That girl is lucky she didn't live in the 70's. Back then, Needling Dick got you put on the enemies list. Read more

"WHEN YOU TRY ME ON A SLIPPERY OLD CEDAR FROM A CRAP TREE, THAT'S THE RESULT YOU'RE GONNA GET."

-The Leg Jump Read more

The cameraman was evaluated at a local animal shelter, deemed unsafe for the public, and euthanized. Read more

Larry Mendte did not immediately return a request for comment. Read more

or the man whose only real sin seems to be writing an ill-advised response and clicking the "send" button. Read more

So who deserves your condemnation more? Read more

He's got a point about your lack of journalistic integrity. You guys never got Lennay Kekua's side of the story, either. Read more

"Heart-stoppingly good." Read more

To be fair, Tom, it's not like Russian interior designers are in a position where they'll want to do their jobs too well. Read more

I think I mentioned once or twice that I did stand-up comedy on the side as a kind of depressing hobby. Here's a video, so you can figure out if I'm any better at telling jokes in real life than I am online.

I have no answer for that. However, I do have an opinion. That is one of the most pitiful 'arguments' it has ever been my misfortune to read. One hopes you keep your love for percentages in mind when the percentage of whites in this country is less than the percentage of non whites. Read more

For some reason Portland got it. Sorry, Scientologists, but there are limits to the stupid shit Portlanders will buy into. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a gluten-free muffin and some unfluoridated water to dig into. Read more

It's hard to imagine that, for something this important, a guy could just skate by with almost zero scrutiny. That a guy with none of the requisite qualifications could just slip through the screening process, past dozen of checks, and be allowed to wander - befuddledly - into the inner sanctum of power, interacting… Read more

In the middle of my life's journey, I came upon a traveller in the woods. He said unto me, "Follow close," and so I did. We walked into a dark vale; the mist was thick, the odor foul. We descended into a cavern, and there upon the shore of a black river awaited wraiths for miles. They opened their mouths, but could… Read more

Bring out the Orange. Orange's sleeping. Well, I guess you're gonna have to go wake him up now, won't you?

Good point, but here's a less-meaningful phrase: Read more