This is why we do this. Read more

1) We are going to keep doing it for as long as we’re permitted to do so and 2) I’ll go ahead and assess that ticket stub for you: it’s worth like five thousand dollars to me. Read more

I respect this decision all the more for how wrong it is. I would have done the same thing. Read more

You know what I don’t actually have to answer this. Read more

I saw a Sixers one in Goodwill once and even for me it was clear that I could not buy it. It was too big, but it was the equivalent of bringing home a Chucky. Read more

Man I hope you’re keeping that Frank Francisco jersey in some sort of stable, climate-controlled environment. You’ll be retiring off that one someday. Read more

Honestly I’m going to go ahead and keep believing this is true. Read more

Thanks very much for this. It’s what we all want, too—to stay together, but also to be able to keep doing the stuff we do as well as we can do it. It may not matter what we want, but that’s what we want. I appreciate you caring about that, and about us, very much. Read more

I feel like this one’s going to wind up being watched at some point. The wive has enough interest and it’s a manageable length. I wouldn’t bet a dollar on Breaking Bad ever making it through, though, sadly. Read more

Whatever the number, it will be more than we can bear. Read more

Oh did I? Read more

It’s really a perfect three-second visual gag. Credit where it’s due to Mike Bordick, an underrated physical comedian. Read more

These are incredibly tight and I want to get some. Read more

Yeah, that’s where I landed on it, too. His standup stuff didn’t wow me, but it was perfectly competent and polished. Everything else suggests that he’s just kind of a turd, though. I don’t think the show can be saved, really, but he sure wasn’t going to help. Read more

These are both such thoughtful responses to this question that it is almost making me reconsider it. Almost but not quite. Read more

I always like it when people describe this as like an ASMR experience. I don’t know what it says about me that it does, but I think it boils down to the fact that I have never expected to even tangentially have my presence be described as “soothing” in any way. Read more

It was in there! They took it out but I promise you I did the double-pump. Read more

I defer to Paul on this one. (Also it was edited out but I talked about the hitch and pantomimed it. I think you only get so much Physical Reenactment Dave per episode under federal guidelines, though.) Read more

Man just watching the Giants all year wouldn’t do me much better, I don’t think. Read more

I did what I needed to do. I apologize for nothing, except the dance. That one I was clearly in the wrong. Read more