People are meant to move. We’ve been doing it for tens of thousands of years. Chasing mammoths across the tundra,…

You’re pooping right now, reading this. Probably constipated. Or you’re in the back of an Uber, stuck in traffic.…

America, our possessions are ruining us. Even as you read these words, container ships are churning through the…

There’s an idea that parallel universes exist simultaneously, and every possible outcome of every event in history…

Let’s talk about pets. They are made for cuddling. They nuzzle and purr and wiggle. They show their cute little…

What should I be when I grow up?

For all the fathers and mothers out there, when Girl Scout Cookie season rolls around, your first and foremost…

I bet you know some bad kids. Not your kids. Your kids are lovely, imaginative, super-athletic, and smart as a whip.…

I’m a child of a broken home. Before they split, my broke-ass parents had a couple nickels to rub together;…

It’s that time of year. Time to visit those weird, faraway relatives in weird, faraway places, where the Target and…

I am unable to take a vacation. I go on vacations, but the idea of just sitting around doing nothing is pure…

I read a lot of children’s books. Some are terrible, many are decent, and a few are truly wonderful. Most authors…

School is out. What the hell are we going to do with these kids? Camps cost a fortune. Sports leagues are a pain in…

Last night, I knew how it was going to end before Game 6 even began. I’m from northeast Ohio.

We are a vast, disconnected, sleep-deprived sleeper cell. We are everywhere you look, hiding in plain sight, picking…

Working in an office is a terrible way to spend your life. Everyone knows this. It’s why Office Space is a cult…

Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die.