This Baby is going to settle for a Billion Dollars!!! Read more
Gourmet Spud
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@Matthew Keffer: You're so damn smug about the fact you grew up on a farm. Read more
@Gourmet Spud: I think I pulled a hamstring with that stretch. Read more
Little did we know that the crop circle would be the closest he'd ever get to a ring. Read more
Pictured: Housekeeper empties out secret dumbwaiter in Tiger Woods's mansion. Read more
Doug is in the Sarah Silver man chat, screaming "where are you, you pussies?!?" Read more
Buzz Bissinger gave your book a wonderful endorsement. Did you ask him to do it? Or did he insist, and you relented, because he is terrifyingly insane? Read more
@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Q: What song do gay horses kill themselves too? Read more
Do They Know It's Slit Wrists Time At All? Read more
@ArkansasFred: You son of a bitch! Read more
One day a man hears a knock at his door. He opens it up and finds a turtle on his porch. He promptly picks up the turtle and punts it across the street. Read more
It's that damned Greek protest dog again! How does he do it? Read more
@Gourmet Spud: And it's also Tommy's headline. Whoops. Read more
@Rod Beck's Bolero: Very nice. Read more
Speaking of flaming bricks, I think my beta copy of NBA Jam is defective. Read more
Say that, hypothetically, you already paid William Ligue and his son the $40, and they were so intensely excited about the whole idea that they were refusing to call it off? How far would you push them if you were me, considering how dangerously unstable these two appear to be? Read more
Do you think William Ligue Jr. and son carrying out a "surprise" attack on you at one of your readings would help or hurt book sales? Because I could probably help make that happen... Read more
In all seriousness, this guy is a genius. Read more