No! Don’t! This is the only blog I read! Read more

This is a beautiful moment in tabloids: “‘If you don’t like it,’ sighed the president, ‘we’ve got this marzipan [candy].’” Read more

Tell it to the judges:

Oh, no! Burneko, I thought you were cool! Turns out you’re just another shithead :( Read more

Oh come on. At least make it discri-MAN-ation. Read more

Hey, Maddie? You all right? Read more

This was really great! But I have to ask: what was the “little problem” with the procedure? Read more

Tuna biscuit Read more

Kinja! Read more

ACTUALLY, PIGEONS ARE COOL Read more

Doves and pigeons are cousins! Read more

It takes a village, dude! Read more

0% bonus Read more

This is an important thing to have on the Internet! I used to be really ashamed of my “always depend[ing] on the kindness of strangers,” or whatever, but it just ain’t gonna happen otherwise. No one likes being on an airplane, anyway. Let’s try to be chill to each other. Read more

PSA: For a few more hours, there’s a p substantial sale happening on the J Crew website. Read more

me: One time I decorated two of six cupcakes at a cupcake-decorating party with toothpaste. Read more

Deadspin is a site for dads. Read more

Beautiful bluejay at 0:29 Read more

Tell the story, Whitson. Read more