Skip in front if she's the only person ahead of you in line. Do the same when you've got a cart full of stuff. Read more

The front office literally, actually, in point of fact did not know how to do a very basic part of its fucking job. This is stupid. Read more

The Chicago sports journalists we shit on are trash. And why would anyone want to read about an athlete dealing with the media in any way other than trolling them? No one gives a shit if Joakim Noah patiently answers the same stupid question 41 times a year—and if they do, they really, really shouldn't. Read more

In NYC, spiders. I really hate spiders. But I've heard all the urban legendish stories about scorpions hiding in boots and drawers and shit, and that is terrifying. Read more

The "plan" works like that whether they field a team of kindergarteners with work permits or the garbage team they have now or a team that isn't actively pissing money into the salary floor and has actual NBA players who their fans can watch, but who are also still bad enough to lose. Having a team that is good and… Read more

I took a really roundabout path into Gawker. Did market research cold calling, website sales, data entry, assistant work, selling comedy club tickets on the street, factory stuff, food service, and whatever else. Read more

We don't cover too much sports betting because all sports betting writing is bullshit. No one but the actual do-this-for-a-living bettors knows what the fuck they're talking about, and there is less than no chance that those guys are going to write some blog posts about how they make their money. Read more

This rule sucks, idiot. Read more

This would be better than what they were doing, for different reasons than why the basketball team is bad. Pro sports teams are essentially a public utility. They (supposedly) provide civic entertainment and peripheral other shit in exchange for preferred access to public funds and other shit. In treating the… Read more

Greg and I bicker about who plays lead receiver all week. Game happens, and whomever plays quarterback simply spends all game throwing underhand fly ball practice to Harvilla standing in the end zone, because he is 50 feet tall, and we are smurfs. Read more

Tom Scocca's piece earlier this year softened the ground, and the thing gained enough momentum that by the time Buress's act came around and new accusers came forward, people were ready to talk about it. So it has more to do with Woody Allen than Ray Rice, really. Read more

We wish this too. Read more

I eyeball it and if the door would still be closing as the person gets to the doorway, hold it. Read more

Howard put an embedded photo of a blood clot in a scrotum in our work chatroom this week. Read more

I went to St. John's, where Ron was the last notable NBA player we'd put into the league in years. I got there the year after the team was gutted after it several members were accused of raping a prostitute in Pittsburgh, so there wasn't much talk about the home team. Everyone loved Ron, though. Read more

Seven game series in a less variable sport than baseball. Read more

This and Best Comedian are the two biggest oversights here. Read more