I wouldn’t call myself a casual baseball fan, but I loved it as a kid and I read baseball articles here on deadspin from time to time. If you told me Mookie was the MVP last year, I would have bet that you were making shit up. I’m surprised there’s another Mookie after the 1990s, I think that one played for the Blue… Read more

I, too, have gotten rich by not investigating the value of things I buy and accidentally overspending by nearly half a million dollars on a single purchase. Read more

Clearly someone should have bought you a new house. Read more

Chris, I’m saying “cheesebutt” tonight to my 8-year old son and his sleepover company. I will be (at least for one night) “the cool dad,” and I have you to thank for it. Read more

This is batshit. Even in his diminished state last year, Cousins was a massive physical presence, a gifted scorer and a top-shelf passer for a big man. Despite his limitations, he played with commendable defensive effort (most of the time), and if he stays committed to giving that effort should only improve as he… Read more

Eric Thames showing off a level of agility and grace normally seen from a beer league softball pitcher with double knee braces. Read more

This is a downer of a White Sox Minute™.
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Hey, it seemed to work for Mike/Giancarlo Stanton. Read more

This leaves out a critical piece of information. Is the shoe still on the fridge? Read more

Let her into your heart, then you can start to hit it better. Read more

Did they add future teammate medical bills to the estimated cost of his contract? An oversight, if not.  Read more

This is exceptionally herbacious behavior. Read more

The Celtics are kind of insane with their retired numbers, but I think this might be even more baffling than any of theirs. Read more

You mock but I’m sure in 20 years some Silicon Valley Douchebag will be taking his kid to their first game, point up at Durant’s retired jersey and say “You see, Little Elon, that jersey belonged to Kevin Durant. An extremely online weirdo who played here for three years in the service of building a brand nobody cares… Read more

“[crosses arms, rolls eyes, continues with butt-hurt sniffles]” Read more

They should hang it in their old building, right before they demolish it. Read more

I’m so excited to see which coaches will be bad at this. Read more

Welp, I can’t foresee anything going wrong here — wait, what? Oh, we’re going to review...

My mistake. Read more

This guy has been a shitbag for years. Hilarious to see him finally get checked. Read more

Oh God now he’s going to be appointed Acting Secretary of Sports... Read more