I bet McQuade is pissed he didn’t get to write this. Pretty well done, though, for the Gawker Media La Salle grad who DIDN’T torpedo his entire company by making pedophilia jokes under oath. Read more

He was a player when I worked in the front office of the CBA Rockford Lightning and was kind of a redass even then at like 24 years old. Read more

Fantastic callback, ObscureNeillMohammedReference. Read more

You should go without pay for two weeks. It’s only two fucking weeks, after all! Read more

Where is the disclosure about this author’s relationship with the White Sox? Let’s get some transparency here, Marchman.  Read more

The speed limits were all 55, so putting a 0-60 time would have been encouraging lawbreaking. Yeah, I know, it’s dumb. Read more

Good trade for deadspin tbh Read more

Unfortunately this won't have the desired effect. It's not up to the dealership. Read more

There’s an identical one of these - silver with burgundy interior, though it’s a ‘79 - near my house in CHICAGO of all places. It parks on the street most of the time; I have no idea how it’s still intact. Most of them in the Midwest rusted out from the fenders-in long ago. My parents had a gold ‘78 when I was born,… Read more

You’re going to be very disappointed to learn who DePaul Prep’s coach is, then. Read more

Looking at Rutgers athletics, I think Milton Friedman ended up winning that one. Read more

Formerly known as Gordon Tech.  Read more

Fun fact: IHSA actually owns the trademark on “March Madness” in tandem with the NCAA under the joint venture shell company “March Madness Athletic Association.” Read more

Yeah, it feels like half of a story. Like they couldn’t corroborate all the details or find out all the info, so they just ran what they had. Maybe putting out there in hopes of being contacted with more info? Interesting that the interim EIC is also a Spencer Hall buddy. Not sure that should be the person to clean up… Read more

Huh, I somehow missed Aaron Gordon getting hired by Jalopnik. Mazel to him. Read more

THE YOUNGSTOWN YEET AND TUBE COMPANY Read more

In that dude's defense, he honestly didn't know the answer and was appreciative of being told the answer. That's more than you can say for a lot of people. Read more

I hope they named their basketball court the Courtney B. Vance.  Read more

Shoulda been you, Coach K. Read more

God, if this is the level of intelligence standing between us and total war, if the shit ever truly hits the fan we're all fucked. Read more