This line in particular is delivered with impeccable timing, sir.

I still chuckle about when my fiancee (now wife) moved in with me. The one thing we couldn’t agree on was which couch to ditch. For months, we had two perfectly good full size couches (that didn’t match at all) jammed into a smallish living room. It was comical climbing around them. In the end, she decided hers was… Read more

A nugget from my own well of wisdom: Read more

Thank you for this! I’m planning on cohabiting with the BF in the spring and I’ve been looking for a “how to not kill each other” guide and this will definitely suffice. Many thanks! Read more

Assuming you’ve more or less combined financies and can afford the electricity, water (if you don’t live in NYC) and whatever other bills you have, division of labor is probably the most important one here, especially if one of you works longer hours than the other. It’s important for the person working longer hours… Read more

I like that you actually have a set of mouse tongs. Yellow brand cats make the best mousers. Read more

All I need.

Old white people and the Wu get along quite well. My dad (b. 1942) had a pair of Wu-Wear cargo shorts that he would wear with his orange Crocs with black socks. Read more

God I miss the classic days of Wu-Tang. Read more

The “Yeah I’ll fuckin’ take ya nuts” part of the “Torture” skit was my outgoing answering-machine message for a very brief period while I was in college. “And bang them shits with a spike fuckin’ bat ... BLAWAWWOO!!” [Beep.] It was a brief period because eventually my mom called. Read more

I wish there was more love for Dog Shit. I’ve been accusing people of spinnin’ on their lips for a decade. Read more

That Original Flavor album is so good, man. Read more

There’s going to be a lot of hurt feelings, but honestly this article could’ve been twice as long. Jay-Z at his best was a slightly above average rapper. I’m a huge Nas fan, but even Nas is pretty mediocre in comparison to pretty much every member of the Wu or Pharaoh Monch or Scarface, or Rakim or a bunch of other… Read more

Is there much competition when it comes to cat-sound records?

Didn’t you read it? His taste in wine is incredibly clear: as cheap as possible, has a simple label, and a relaxing name. If Three Buck Chuck (may his brother, Two, RIP in peace) had a better name, you know for sure it’d be at the top of his list.
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I’m a United fan. Full disclosure. Read more

V-necks should be auto disqualified for being awful. Read more

If they can hear your music, asshole, then it isn’t at a reasonable volume. Why is it so fucking hard to understand that?
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Up the ante and make it Peruvian children’s music. There is literally nothing more annoying. Read more