"Uhh...first of all, I'd like to thank God for this opportunity. I went out there and gave it 110% today, but sometimes the breaks just don't fall your way. But I'm not here to gripe about the loss today, or the judges, or my trainer. Because at the end of the day it's about mental toughness and preparation, and I've… Read more

"Blackheart Man" Read more

My go-to phrase when my boss (or anyone senior to me) says something is, "I didn't think about it that way." It makes them feel smart. Read more

sounds good Read more

I would add that if you are into Ben Wa balls, and boil them for cleaning, please buy a pot that is only used for this purpose. No one wants to eat pasta boiled in your sex juices. Read more

Huh.

Do they show penis entering vagina? Read more

I think I know who this article is really meant for:

I have been reluctant guy. One of my brothers threw my bachelor party, and the one request I had was to not go to a strip club. It was just not my thing. So, of course he took me and the other five or six guys in the group to one. We got to the door, and I just did not want to go in. My brother said, "Are you sure?… Read more

Even more fucked up is I had to sit there till 5 am talking to the cops and drinking cokes with a bunch of grumpy strippers. Read more

Several things I have come across during my days in the Navy while visiting local strip clubs in ports we visited...(if I can recall correctly). Read more

My first time in a strip club, in the backroom with a girl, I was told there was a two drink minimum. I proceeded to order myself two drinks. I'm pretty sure that wasn't what I was supposed to do. Read more

Definitely seems as if the worst thing you can do at a strip club is to try and be Self-Aware Noble Clever Guy. Just plaster a smile on your face for an hour or so, drink a bit, tip well and leave without making a show of being so much different than everyone else in the place. Read more

One night in 1998 I was at a strip club in Houston called Gigis Cabaret (Anna Nicole started there). I was having a drink when a waitress came up and, seeing the motorcycle helmet on the chair, asked if my bike was outside. I said yes and she said someone had "knocked it over". I ran out just in time to see the… Read more

Another tip: When they say "Hi, my name is Candy!" don't say, "Okay, now what's your real name?" Or if they have an accent, don't accuse them of faking it just to seem exotic. It's not clever, it's rude. You wouldn't go to a play and accuse the actors of being phonies, would you? Accept the performance for what… Read more

My strategy is more concise: Read more

nor his best album (inexplicable Steely Dan victim Midnite Vultures, actually) Read more

Jim Cooke, you have outdone yourself, sir. Bravo.

"Hello." Read more

I need a bourbon after that Giving Tree recap. Read more