You asked for it, you got it ... Read more

I quit. Read more

@Chicago Jones: Yahoo . . . ! Read more

Shift/1, Bitches! Read more

@Lisa: No, no, no ... Thank. You. Read more

I came across the Ravens late in life; in 2000 when my favorite team, the Buffalo Bills, were on the verge of yet another disappointing season. Nine weeks in, I decided I would commit the ultimate act of sports bigamy: pick a backup team to follow for the rest of the year. Read more

I was at that Mariners-Jays game last night. Dear God, baseball sucks. Read more

Apropos of nothing... Read more

@MrRedDevil: And I graduated! Read more

@jake(ymon): You're gonna have to read that to me too ... Read more

@TattooedMess(iah): ! Read more

@twoeightnine: No, I have Donna Martin's disease. My tits are like, eight feet apart. Read more

And Suss, please tell your mom to go easy on the fuckin' mayo. Read more

Question: Will this memo be read to me? Read more

R.I.P., Pau Gasol. Read more

I used to work for the China Meteorological Association. Read more

@Suss—: +0.7 (I chuckled quietly.) Read more

@Shtickless: DITTO! Read more

"After about 25 missed shots in the last 20 seconds, the West was unable to catch up to the East ..." Read more

I'm disappointed no one noticed the time I posted this at. Read more