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I'd read McSweeney's articles more often if they didn't always leave me feeling like an unshaven boor. But maybe that's just the beard and lack of table manners. Either way, here are some Super Bowl predictions if penned by famous authors. [McSweeney's] Read more

Washington State football player Xavier Hicks was arrested and suspended for switching his roommate's contact solution with rubbing alcohol. I'd be impressed if that wasn't ridiculously painful. [The Wizard Of Odds] Read more

Why the Patriots need to solidify their dynasty by blowing out the Giants thereby eliminating any fiber of hope in the common man and in turn creating a giant fortress from the tears of epileptic children on which Robert Kraft can rule the sports world with an iron fist. [Slate] Read more

The "Senator bugging NFL commissioner about something" trifecta is in play: Arlen Specter asks Roger Goodell why he destroyed the evidence of the Patriots spying on the Jets. [Scrapple & Iggs] Read more

The Johan Santana trade finally finalizes with a six-year, $137.5 million extension, with a clause that lets him poke Washington Nationals players with a stick. [Bloomberg] Read more

What you missed, not including the stop sign by the elementary school crosswalk...
• NBA: People Who Mark Off Paths p

It's not like the trading deadline in baseball, because player movements in the Premier League actually happened.