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sussman-old

With nothing else to do, Joakim Noah goes back to Gainesville, carries around an open container and some marijuana, and attempts to do so without the police knowing. That last part didn't happen successfully. [Chicago Tribune] Read more

See, old people write things like this: "Methinks, the entire Stanley Cup playoffs have become a delightfully nostalgic kibbutz." Oh, lovable Jerry Green. Never change. [Detroit News] Read more

• Cristiano Ronaldo's new girlfriend does all the positions, and all you have to do is take her to parties and give

Remember when Dan Shaughnessy was carpooling to work with athletes? Now he can't even get any lousy insider access with Kevin Garnett. [Boston Globe] Read more

Vince Young thought about retiring from football a year into his career. Probably wanted to start a Chuck E. Cheese franchise with Eric Crouch. [Larry Brown Sports] Read more

This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view,

No, Albert Belle did not qualify for the U.S. Open. Thanks for being curious, though! [Plain Dealer] Read more

This might be hard to believe, but if David Ortiz participated in the Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium this summer, the Yankees would have a problem with him calling his shot. [Boston Globe] Read more