I'm sure you can actually pull them off, though. Because you are not a grotesque, woman-beating troll-man. Read more

Not necessarily. By moving quickly, Durant didn't give the Grizzlies' defense time to get set. If he had stopped at the three-point line to waste some clock, he would have undoubtedly had two or three defenders flying at him and forcing him to give the ball up. Read more

Philadelphia: Marlins 14, Phillies 2
So, this is what rock bottom for Roy Halladay looks like. After getting knocked around for nine runs in two-and-one-thirds innings, Halladay revealed that he has been suffering from "shoulder discomfort." He's set to fly to Los Angeles to see an orthopedic surgeon.

Houston: Tigers 9, Astros 0
Justin Verlander carried a no-hitter into the seventh inning before yielding a soft single to Carlos Pena. Verlander finished with nine strikeouts through seven innings, and the Astros fell to 8-24 as they continue to be a very embarrassing baseball team.

Arlington: Rangers 4, Red Sox 3
Yu Darvish is as good as it gets. He struck out 14 Red Sox in seven innings of work, and now owns a 2.56 ERA and 0.92 WHIP for the season.

Nassau: Penguins 5, Islanders 4
Things were looking great for the Islanders when they stormed out to a 2-0 lead in the first six minutes of the game. But the Pens answered with four straight goals, eventually winning on a fifth in overtime.

Ottawa: Senators 6, Canadiens 1
The Sens took a 2-1 series lead thanks to a four-goal third period, but the big story from this game was all the fighting. There were so many fights! The two teams ended up combining for 236 penalty minutes.

New York: Pacers 102, Knicks 95
This series couldn't have started off much worse for the Knicks. Roy Hibbert completely locked down the paint, and Carmelo Anthony and J.R. Smith were reduced to volume shooters. Also, Jason Kidd is old:

Oklahoma City: Thunder 93, Grizzlies 91
The Thunder take Game 1 of what will likely be a very entertaining series. Kevin Martin came to play, scoring 25 points off the bench, and Kevin Durant led the way with a huge second half, finishing with 35 points, 15 rebounds, and 6 assists.

Gonna miss the puppy GIFs :( Read more

Arlington: Dog on a scooter?
Dog on a scooter.

Anaheim: Orioles 5, Angels 1
Things are still looking pretty shaky for the 10-18 Angels. How shaky? Mike Trout is helping Nate McLouth hit home runs now.

Toronto: Pitcher fight!
Jack Morris, who broadcasts game for the Toronto Blue Jays, has decided to start a crusade against Red Sox pitcher Clay Buccholz, accusing Buccholz of throwing spitballs. For the record, not one person seems to believe Morris.

Anaheim: Red Wings 5, Ducks 4
The Ducks made a furious comeback in the third period, scoring three goals to force the game to overtime. Just over a minute into the extra period, Gustav Nyquist scored the game-winner.

Washington D.C.: Capitals 3, Rangers 1
The Caps blitzed the Rangers in the second period, when Alex Ovechkin scored a power-play goal that was followed up by back-to-back goals by Marcus Johansson and Jason Chimera.

Oakland: Warriors 92, Nuggets 88
This game had it all, really: A Steph Curry third-quarter explosion, some truly miserable officiating, and a frantic Nuggets' comeback that came with a near meltdown by the Warriors. It's too bad this series has to be over.

Chicago: Bulls 92, Nets 95
Every Bulls starter besides Carlos Boozer played almost the entire game, but without Luol Deng and a not-puking Nate Robinson, they couldn't scrape past the Nets. Game 7 is on Saturday. We hope Nate goes for 50, just because that would be hilarious.

Also, "he doesn't know what he doesn't know" makes me want to find the nearest old white guy and punch him right in the face. Read more

I think it's aggressively stupid to think that Geno Smith's social skills or lack thereof have anything to do with his ability to throw a football. Read more

Toronto: Red Sox 10, Blue Jays 1
So, yeah, the Blue Jays still stink. They fall to 10-18 after surrendering five home runs to the Sox, two of which came courtesy of Mike Napoli.