I will kill you. Read more

Of course. Wasn't implying otherwise. Read more

Ahh OK. I thought that you were unaware of Deadspin's robust bear coverage, and that made me sad. Sorry for f-bombing you. Read more

That's because we have a little something called Bear Fridays here at deadspin dot com. Also, this: http://bears.kinja.com/ Read more

Are you fucking kidding me right now? Read more

I lived in Colorado for 25 years and I've never heard of those bullshit cookies. I can only assume that they are eaten exclusively by disgusting, rich white people from Aspen. Read more

I counted from the start of the video, which I suppose was generous. Read more

Re: Anonymous, not exactly http://gawker.com/anonymous-take… Read more

A Schiano Man grunts every time he stands up from a sitting position. Read more

A Schiano Man refuses to use the self-service checkout machine at the grocery store, because he doesn't like "that computer bitch's" tone. Read more

A Schiano Man doesn't consider "a little choking" to be spousal abuse. Read more

Get your facts straight, dummy: http://deadspin.com/alex-rodriguez… Read more

Yeah, Cohen's column touches on that issue as well. It's worth reading the whole thing. Read more

SAD UPDATE: https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/stat… Read more

I'm assuming he got it stepped on, and the other person's cleat or whatever sliced it off. Read more

That's the other hilarious part of this. Harvey's pitch was completely non-sensical and conveyed zero valuable information. Read more

Fuck, I meant to put that in there. Missed it! I'll add it now. Read more

This is a possibility, but I refuse to believe it. Read more

Really wish his name was "Narded." :( Read more

No way, man. This guy knows how to saunter: http://deadspin.com/rob-ryan-large… Read more