In celebration of the fact that Osama bin Laden was announced dead last night, American college students everywhere took it upon themselves to riot in the streets, drunkenly yell their college rally chants on national television, and light couches on fire. Oh, America.
On Fox News last night, Geraldo Rivera interviewed a crowd of students in Washington DC. One young lady toward the end of the video (1:30 mark) cut off another student by yelling "ROLL TIDE, Y'ALL!" Because, of course, an Alabama student found her way onto Fox News 800 miles away in D.C. Of course she did.
At Penn State, a cheerleader did a back-flip over a pile of flaming trash. This doesn't really have anything to do with patriotism or America (or does it???), but it is completely badass.
At West Virginia University, a group of rioters lit a couch on fire to celebrate bin Laden's death. Midway through the video a girl heaves a sigh and says, "Welcome to Morgantown, West Virginia, everybody." This is just what they do there. Burning a couch is West Virginian for "yay!"
Over at The Ohio State, students took their clothes off and jumped into a lake. They also came up with the creative "Fuck Osama!" chant, which is, I think, a much needed reprieve from the "USA! USA!" chant.
It seems Penn State partied hard last night (although that's not really news). A mob also took to singing Springsteen's not-actually-patriotic "Born in the USA" in a somewhat coherent fashion.
On this great day, college students across the country are nursing gruesome hangovers right about now. At least they're patriotic hangovers.