Deadspin Classic: The Day ESPN.com Stood Still

By

Originally published Feb. 1, 2007

Seriously, everyone: What we witnessed today was one of the most amazing Web "uprisings" we can imagine. We suspect there will be quite a few "all right, maybe we should rethink how we do this" meetings in Bristol tomorrow, and it's entirely thanks to you. We didn't even have to prod you; it was a beautiful thing to watch.

It's a day we'll always remember ... and we're not necessarily sure it's over. From one proud commenter:

Good morning. In less than an hour, commenters from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest comment board battle in the history of the internets. "Internets." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the First of February, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from the WWL. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the First of February will no longer be known as a Deadspin holiday, but as the day the ebays declared in one voice: "Our comments will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Underground Day!

A bit much, but ... so awesome. You guys absolutely rule.

Below, we have the initial comments that immediately followed Bill Simmons' column — which ended being the Ground Zero here. We don't actually think it was anything personal against Simmons (mostly, anyway, and some of the Sports Gal comments were a bit much, but we're sensitive that way); we think he was just the high-profile start to this. And it's not the content of the comments so much, anyway; it was just the day when everyone rose up and screamed. It was glorious to witness. The comments directly after the post are jaw-dropping to watch; you see the concept go from tentative, to festive, to ... well, for everything to change and spiral gloriously out of control. Enjoy.

aggiefan1986 (2/1/2007 at 2:11 PM) Report Ignore

Bill:Will you change your web layout back to the way it used to be? Reading your articles now is like staring at the sun. Thanks

gdaddy84 (2/1/2007 at 2:14 PM) Report Ignore

The hills>Laguna Beach

Buckscott (2/1/2007 at 2:16 PM) Report Ignore

born and raised in the county dade... welcome to our lives!ps. they modeling agency from the short lived MTV show 8th and ocean is located directly above the Johnny Rockets you were visiting.

bamakomalli (2/1/2007 at 2:16 PM) Report Ignore

wait, we can just randomly comment on articles now? Is this serious? how soon till myspace law takes over and people just rush to comment first without even reading the article, followed by at least 10 people making fun of that person for not coming up with anything more original than "FIRST". Ok I make no sense now.

gtrain78 (2/1/2007 at 2:18 PM) Report Ignore

Enjoyed the column, especially the very last sentence: "I haven't run into one person who thinks the Bears can win on Sunday. Not one." You gotta love the Bears SU after hearing that.

fausel (2/1/2007 at 2:19 PM) Report Ignore

Two things Bill.1- You are the one who told people to pay $20 to a stripper to give a friend a lap dance and when he asks her what her name is to tell her to say the name of her newborn daughter. Now you are are afraid of it happening to you?2- As a Knicks fan, I am exceedingly pleased that they traded that pick to Chicago right now. No way I would want Oden or Durant instead of Eddie Curry. It might take Curry the month of February to get 23 rebounds.

aschrag83 (2/1/2007 at 2:20 PM) Report Ignore

ESPN... you need to kill this comments thing RIGHT NOW. This is awful. Please. At least don't include it for every article.

sportstar4l (2/1/2007 at 2:22 PM) Report Ignore

I picked the Bears to beat the Colts 27-17, and I'm a Jets fan. So there's one for ya. Thomas Jones wins Super Bowl MVP with a game of 125 yards and 2 TDs.

jackunderscoredaniels (2/1/2007 at 2:24 PM) Report Ignore

That was lame Thimmons. every newspaper has a travel section, but thanks for looking out.

Will777 (2/1/2007 at 2:24 PM) Report Ignore

Hi Bill, I'm either high right now or I am commenting to you on your article or both

WagonJumper (2/1/2007 at 2:24 PM) Report Ignore

Please make these comments stop. I promise you that this isn't a good idea.

jackunderscoredaniels (2/1/2007 at 2:26 PM) Report Ignore

Why, WagonJumper?

bzani1238 (2/1/2007 at 2:29 PM) Report Ignore

Comments? Oh man. Simmons, meet Deadspinners. Deadspinners, Simmons.

Jimbanna (2/1/2007 at 2:29 PM) Report Ignore

People from Indiana in South Beach will be roughly equivalent to that tiger walking in the snow in the Philly zoo from Rocky II.

Jumball (2/1/2007 at 2:29 PM) Report Ignore

What's wrong with comments? If you idiots don't want to read them, don't. It's not hard.

ripken0713 (2/1/2007 at 2:30 PM) Report Ignore

They've stopped giving singles at Columbus, OH (where I live) strip clubs. You can only get 2s. I hate this trend, as it ruins my whole "tipping" strategy.

cmoney1020 (2/1/2007 at 2:32 PM) Report Ignore

The one time I was in Miami, my company paid for an awesome hotel room on South Beach. The only problem was that night a hurricane hit. That, plus the hour long ride from Miami International to the hotel, is the dark side of Miami...if I had personally paid for the room, I'd be in tears.

bennydis (2/1/2007 at 2:35 PM) Report Ignore

Seriously? How bad does Simmons want to be black?

gratlax555 (2/1/2007 at 2:37 PM) Report Ignore

I must say, I do agree with the old layout, with the yellow background and the bigger text. It made it easier to read...I wish ESPN would try some sort of poll to see who actually likes the new format.

stsakatruth (2/1/2007 at 2:37 PM) Report Ignore

AAHhhh If it wasnt for the Pats losing I would be there with ya... Im trying to think of what Damon Jones nickname for you would be... All I could come up with is "guy"

TheSaxist (2/1/2007 at 2:37 PM) Report Ignore

Wait, you can comment now? Seriously? Can I get a ruling on this? My friends H-Dog and Corky just compared this to Fresh Prince recasting the role of Aunt Viv halfway through the series in the "Bad Idea Scale of Things That Are Really Bad Ideas".

griffithsry (2/1/2007 at 2:38 PM) Report Ignore

You magnificent #### Simmons... you're assesment of South Beach is right on. But it can't compare to this week's blog by A.J. Daulerio on Deadspin. Seriously, if you want comedy hit that up and make sure to continuie after the jump.

stsakatruth (2/1/2007 at 2:39 PM) Report Ignore

TheSaxist <<<<< Trying too hard to be like Bill...

turleywe2 (2/1/2007 at 2:40 PM) Report Ignore

In response to your "I haven't run into one person who thinks the Bears can win on Sunday. Not one." comment. I was in New Orleans for Super Bowl XXXVI and remember hearing the same thing about the Patriots and look how that turned out? Thanks Martz. Yes, I'm still very bitter about that.

dubsquad (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

my head hurts from reading this article, the colors were too bright.........and I'm colorblind..

brianallen002003 (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

This comments section is going to get out of control fast. ESPN, stop it now. Has anyone at ESPN ever seen one of his chats? This is Bad Idea Jeans bad. "Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, "When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?"

ptkleinus (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

I just spent a couple of days in South Beach for work, and all the hot local chicks look exactly the same: tight jeans, boots up to the calves, and impossibly-perfect racks. Long live globalization!

bennydis (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

Saxist's joke <<<<< Right over stsakatruth's head...

BigDaddyDrewFKS (2/1/2007 at 2:42 PM) Report Ignore

I don't like this comment feature. People are just going to use it as an excuse to bash Simmons online anonymously. And that's not good, because Bill has skin that's thinner than Saran Wrap.

waynerrocks (2/1/2007 at 2:42 PM) Report Ignore

you can tell just how happy bill is...his column is all over the place and completely manic. if that's what miami can do, i'm changing my spring break plans

FutileSixers (2/1/2007 at 2:42 PM) Report Ignore

Paul Pierce needs to hurry the hell up and find some health.

bennydis (2/1/2007 at 2:43 PM) Report Ignore

I think it's funny how people who are saying they don't like the comments feature are actually leaving comments.

tmagers (2/1/2007 at 2:46 PM) Report Ignore

http://sonsofkc.blogspot.com/

morecowbell74 (2/1/2007 at 2:46 PM) Report Ignore

When is Bill going to weigh in on that Celtic who blew out his knee on a failed dunk attempt three full seconds after the whistle blew?

tmagers (2/1/2007 at 2:46 PM) Report Ignore

This comment section will end badly. Everyone knows this.

cart0211 (2/1/2007 at 2:47 PM) Report Ignore

everybody lets pray, pray to the football gods that adam vinatieri wins the super bowl with a game-ending field goal so simmons gets to spend a full offseason in agony. boo patriots.

attanasio77 (2/1/2007 at 2:48 PM) Report Ignore

Bill, has Salisbury forwarded you any pictures from his cell phone yet?

jpmills3 (2/1/2007 at 2:50 PM) Report Ignore

You will rule this day Billiam, oh yes...you will rue the day of allowing comments. PS — Why do you never answer my questions?

Gym_Class_Hero (2/1/2007 at 2:50 PM) Report Ignore

www.purevolume.com/9flip6 -> it's a rocking band, check it out!

jpmills3 (2/1/2007 at 2:50 PM) Report Ignore

Imagine how big this thread will be when Bill fails to do a new colum for over a week...

roches09 (2/1/2007 at 2:51 PM) Report Ignore

sweet merciful crap

BigDaddyDrewFKS (2/1/2007 at 2:51 PM) Report Ignore

Hey, who wants to talk burritos?