Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
* Well, this was inevitable. Breesus Maximus has been granted imperial powers and we are now his loyal subjects, meant to live and die at his whims. Eh, it was totally worth it. [NOLA.com]
* The East beat the West last night as 108,000 NBA fans watched from inside the world's largest sports bar. Dwyane Wade won the MVP, despite being shrunk down to the size of an ant. (Seriously, the place is very big.) You know, ants can lift 25 times their own body weight.
* Canada spent 30 billion dollars and half a decade putting together the Vancouver Olympics, but it was all worth it because now the country has a shiny gold trinket they can hang around their necks. Each citizen gets to wear it for two minutes. (Québécois get 90 seconds.)
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Monday. Play your part and I'll play my game.