Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
* Peanut Butter Boy now has competition for the weirdest (and nakedest) fan at Georgia Bulldog basketball games: "We, at Georgia, now have crazy fan number 2. Whenever the other team goes to the free-throw line we have Speedo Guy, He is in nothing but a speedo and a swim cap. As soon as the player is about to shoot, everybody in the section sits down, and Speedo Guy starts dancing. This has been going on for a couple games, and has been quite successful. The other team has never made both of their shots, always missing at least one if not both of them. Attached is a photo of Speedo Guy, and a link to the Facebook Fan page. There are also videos of him on the page." Education is important, kids.
* Lindsey Vonn is already writing her future Saturday Night Live sketches about Tiger Woods. "When a member of her Vonn-tourage tells her that Woods gave a few friends hugs after ending his statement, she cracks, "They're like, 'Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.' " The room breaks into a laugh." Better than Bobby Moynihan. [Time]
* Your bi-annual "Olympic athletes get free condoms because they love to have sex with each other all the time" article was written by "Hat Guy" this year. Sleep on that imagery. [MSNBC]
* Stephen Strasburg lifts right arm, moves it forward rapidly, Nationals fans swoon. [Nationals Enquirer]
* Oh, look at that. 7-10 split? No problem. [Money Shot]