You should have heard the excitement in Chad McGhee's tone during the weekly call. It was unparalleled in football analytica. Such is what one would expect when the mighty Knox City Greyhounds got off the schneid with a 47-0 victory over the Rule Bulldogs.
"I mean, buddy, it was one, if not the, funnest games I've ever been at," he said.
Per Chad, the score was deceptive.
"We forty-fived 'em! The game ended at halftime. Mercy ruled 'em. Any time it looked like they were getting something going, we'd slap 'em down," said Chad, who had an unusual interest in this match as he used to live in Rule before God led him to the light of Knox City. "Back when I was a little divalover, I'd have been on the other side of the field. That was strange."
If he had any complaint about Bulldog Stadium it's that the visiting bleachers were a "monstrosity." Not the sign of a good host. Chad reckons they must be having some financial woes in Rule. That'd be a shame but, hell, at least offer sittable seats. The whole damn Knox City yellow pages was there, after all.
As for game-play, he said "No. 7 Tyler Needham made an Air Jordan catch, just glided into the touchdown line. A perfect touchdown. Went right up over the guy's head."
The Greyhounds have another away game this week, against the 2-1 Newcastle Bobcats on Friday. No word on what the line is for that one.
Pertaining to the Dallas Cowboys, however, Chad wants "Jerry Jones to get off his lazy red ass and do what's right for the team. I'm convinced we have lost that America's Team title and we've become America's Choke and America's Joke."
He specifically called out Tony Romo's inability to field a snap, and his penchant for choking whenever the opportunity presents itself, because he's too busy thinking about Jessica Simpson.
Speaking directly to Jones and Romo on behalf of Cowboys nation, Chad asked, "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to us?"
If Mr. Jones or Romo would like to answer Chad, they're invited to do so in the comments section.