How-To's, Restorative Milkshakes, And A Ranked List Of Meats: The Year In Foodspin

Deadspin had a bountiful year in the consideration of, eating, cooking, asking about, and taking solace in food. We also received it in the mail, once. Relive our gastronomic experiments as if they were all just one big burp, below.

How To Make A Bean Dip: A Guide For New Year's Eve Partygoers Who Are Getting Too Old For This Shit

And how to make and eat everything else, from Albert Burneko's award-winning (in 2013, wait for it) Foodspin series:

Chicken thighs | Popeye's biscuits | Salad | Candy corn Oreos | Chili | Red Bull Total Zero | French toast | Sriracha | Halloween candy | Emergency food | Nachos | Meatloaf | Thanksgiving side dishes | MacGyver Thanksgiving | Eating strategies | Leftovers | Mac and cheese | Weird Santa candies | Pot roast

Luncheon Meats, Ranked

An accurate list of the best luncheon meats, in order. Read »

Got Thanksgiving Questions? The New York Times's Expert, Sam Sifton, Is Here To Answer Them

Big time food writer Sam Sifton gave Thanksgiving advice to the peons and started an answer with, "Bro." Bookmark it for next year or relive the magic now. Read »

Our Drew Magary Applied For A Spot On Chopped; This Is His Application

Our own Drew Magary applied to be on Chopped. This was his application. Read »

The Restorative Power Of The Chick-Fil-A Banana Pudding Milkshake

Drew drank a milkshake. It was really good. Read »

How To Make Ramen That Doesn't Taste Like Wet Cardboard

A young Tom Ley showed us how to spice up our previously crappy ramen. (Spoiler: Baby. Bok. Choy.) Read »

How To Grill The Perfect Steak, According To John Madden And Three Actual Chefs

Madden thought for a second. "Well, you take a sirloin and you salt and pepper it, maybe some garlic salt too. Then you cook it for . . ." He raised his voice as he questioned his wife: "Hey, Virginia, that whole sirloin-what do you cook it for? Two or three hours?" Then, turning back to the phone: "You cook it two or three hours." Read »

How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass

Drew crossed another one of life's eternal questions off of the list when he explained how to fold a fajita without looking like some sort of dumbass. Read »

What The Fuck Is Major League Soccer Sending Us?

The MLS mailed us some cheesesteaks. Read »

If You Don't Like Bacon On Your Hamburger, Then Screw You

What alternate fucking universe do these people live in where bacon is not crucial to the well-being of a hamburger? Read »

What Is The World's Greatest Pasta Shape? Or, Why Linguine Is Bullshit

A shot across the bow in the Great Pasta Shape Debate led to much consternation. Read »

I Hung Out With Dukebags And Discovered The Greatest Value In The History Of Drunken Eating

Drew got shitfaced with some Dukebags and went to magical place called Cook Out. Read »

Six Sandwiches More Fitting Than The Carnegie Deli's New Tebow Sandwich

The Carnegie Deli picked an illogical and apparently bad specialty sandwich in honor of Tim Tebow. We helped them out with a few alternates. Read »

Sick Children Are Where Good Food Goes To Die

Sick children—is there anything they can't fuck up? Read »

Are New York's Most Exclusive Restaurants More Eager To Seat Jeremy Lin Or Eli Manning? Deadspin Investigates

We booked fake reservations at fancy restaurants and canceled them later, in the name of science. It turns out Eli Manning likes Nobu. Read »