On Sunday, Duke lost to No. 1 seed Kansas. Depending on your loyalties—more precisely, depending on if you’re one of the North Carolinians that overpaid for your undergraduate education or one of the Northeastern private schoolers that couldn’t make the cut at Yale—you took this one of two ways.
If you’re in the bunch that descended upon Durham with the lofty goal of someday being able to explain what it is, exactly, that consultants or entry-level i-bankers do, you’d call Sunday’s game a hard-fought loss battled by a valiant bunch of players that were coached by The One True Coach. If you’re in the other, much larger bunch, you instead categorized the loss as a moral good.
That is all to say that the video I’m about to show you, of a child gurgling some gross mixture of snot and milk while lamenting the Blue Devils’ exit, will make you feel one of two ways. You will either feel like me, confused as to why I’m even watching such a mundane thing, or you will feel like my editors, who watched the video, immediately noted, “I like the whimpering,” and assigned me this blog.
If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll just be filling out this HR harassment form.