It's A Sad Day For Obscure Movies You Don't Care About

I know I've been writing a lot this week, and I swear, my actual job really does keep me plenty busy, but Daulerio informed me of an impending change at Deadspin that I had to weigh in on. In about 15 minutes, Gawker Media is introducing automated, ad-produced sponsors posts. That means: No more movie quotes, ever again. I was surprised by how sad this made me. To be entirely honest, there were weeks in which I put as much mental energy into deciding what the movie quotes were going to be than the I spent on the rest of the site. (This will likely not strike you as a surprise.) The whole thing started because, well, I absolutely hated that I had to write a sponsors post; it felt like ad copy, and only chumps like Drew do ad copy. But, you know, back in 2005, Nick Denton had us writing posts on an Etch-and-Sketch, which was then flown by carrier pigeon (very, very carefully) to Hungary, where tiny, hairless, meth-enhanced Indonesian children pedaled bicycles to power the servers. (I never quite understood why Nick bothered to fly the children to Hungary from Indonesia. I was afraid to ask.) Posts hit the site roughly 37 days after they were initially written. We've come a long way. Kind of. That is to say: I wasn't in much of a position to complain about anything, considering my only other career option at the time involved harvesting horse semen. Now that I think about it, that's not all that different than the days of Barbaro, really. Anyway. I kind of feel like we're losing something by not having the movie posts anymore. It was the only time on Deadspin I got to do what I really wanted to: Just quote Woody Allen all day. It took restraint I didn't know I had not to make every movie post a Woody Allen post. To deaden the pain, I tried to pick movies that I loved, hoping someone out there would recognize them. This rarely happened. Fortunately, Daulerio would pick movies that, you know, people actually watched and enjoyed. A coarse plebian, that guy. So, because this is the last ever sponsors post with movie quotes, I thought I'd just list all the movies I used. Beware: There are a lot, so this is one of those posts that runs long and ruins your workday, apparently. For the record, I don't love all these movies ... but I do love most of them. Here you go, in order: Glengarry Glen Ross This Is Spinal Tap The Big Lebowski Army Of Darkness Annie Hall A Fish Called Wanda Rushmore Being John Malkovich Friday True Romance Clerks The Naked Gun Requiem For A Dream Best In Show Zoolander Dr. Strangelove Ed Wood Punch Drunk Love The Incredibles Heat Brazil Rambo: First Blood Part II Beavis And Butt-head Do America Ali G Indahouse Do The Right Thing Airplane Cool Hand Luke Election Brick L.A. Confidential South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Taxi Driver Sin City Lost In Translation The Departed The Straight Story The Truman Show From Russia With Love Nashville Love And Death Double Indemnity The Talented Mr. Ripley A Christmas Story Eddie Murphy: Raw Children Of Men The Good Shepherd Junebug The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult Hannah And Her Sisters Million Dollar Baby se7en Vertigo Pootie Tang The Upside Of Anger Bob Roberts Four Rooms Grindhouse Shaun Of The Dead Clue Darkman 28 Days Later Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind Donnie Brasco "Freaks And Geeks" From Dusk Till Dawn "The Sopranos" The Manchurian Candidate The Iron Giant Transformers: The Movie Trees Lounge Back To The Future "The Simpsons" Broadcast News The Natural The Limey Three Kings You Can Count On Me Unforgiven The Fly In The Company Of Men The Royal Tenenbaums Kingpin Aliens A Nightmare On Elm Street Dog Day Afternoon Miller's Crossing The Squid And The Whale The Conversation Superbad Gremlins There Will Be Blood Blade Runner Once Edward Scissorhands Raiders Of The Lost Ark No Country For Old Men Zodiac Short Cuts Rambo Michael Clayton Body Heat Repo Man Sideways Lone Star Funny Games Good Night, And Good Luck Crumb I Am Legend Mean Girls The Aviator Raiders Of The Lost Ark (Ooops. My first repeat. Sorry.) The Spanish Prisoner Top Secret Manhattan Tootsie Lady In The Water Singin' In The Rain 2001: A Space Odyssey A sad day indeed.