Over on Reddit, user reddripper has compiled an excellent map of what different parts of the world call the game where you use your feet to kick a ball into a goal. Shades of pink are variations and literal translations of "football," blues are "soccer," and greens represent other etymologies.
It's nice to see that America doesn't stand alone—Ireland, Canada, Southern Africa, Oceania, Japan, and half (?) of the Philippines are in the "soccer" camp. The real weirdness is along the Adriatic Sea, where Italy calls the game "Calcio" and Slovenia/Croatia/Bosnia & Herzegovina call it "Nogomet."
Click here for a much larger version.
[Reddit]