We did this after Kim split with Reggie Bush, so it's the least we could do for sad-sack power forward Kris Humphries, who seems hellbent for humiliation by the Kardashian media machine until he signs the damn divorce papers. I mean, seriously: when Mr. and Mrs.Humphries show up on TMZ to beg Kim to give their tall sweet boy another chance, it's time to initiate new brand-building strategies, Kris.
VIDEO: Matt Toder
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Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. And now let's continue with the Lilith Fair theme before Hickey arrives.