No major sporting event has less betting surrounding it than the Olympics. I’m not sure why that is, but trust me, it’s true. You haven’t hit rock bottom until you’ve spent 30 minutes unsuccessfully scouring the internet trying to place a bet on a massive bobsled underdog.
If you want to know the top storylines heading into these Olympics, check out my ranking and preview of every single Olympic medal event. But if you want to gamble on who is going to win, we’re here to make that easier for you.
Here are predictions for who will win the gold medal in every single event, ranked by how certain I am that they will win. For instance, the Germans will undoubtedly win the luge relay, while your guess as to who will win the two-man bobsled gold is as good as mine. (But seriously, if you find a place to wager on it, let me know.)
Below these predictions you’ll find the rules to play Fantasy Olympics, created by Alexander Chester. If nothing else, it will give you a rooting interest as you watch biathlon CNBC at 11:30 at night.
Gold Medal Predictions
1. Luge - Team Relay Germany
2. Snowboarding - Women’s Big Air Anna Gasser (Austria)
3. Freestyle Skiing - Men’s Moguls Mikael Kingsbury (Canada)
4. Freestyle Skiing - Women’s Ski Cross Sandra Näslund (Sweden)
5. Luge - Men’s Singles Felix Loch (Germany)
6. Ski Jumping - Women’s Normal Hill Maren Lundby (Norway)
7. Speed Skating - Women’s 500m Nao Kodaira (Japan)
8. Skeleton - Men’s Yun Sung-bin (South Korea)
9. Snowboarding - Women’s Parallel Giant Slalom Ester Ledecka (Czech Republic)
10. Biathlon - Women’s Sprint Anastasiya Kuzmina (Slovakia)
11. Nordic Combined - Men’s Team Relay Germany
12. Alpine Skiing - Men’s Slalom Marcel Hirscher (Austria)
13. Biathlon - Men’s Sprint Johannes Thingnes Bø (Norway)
14. Speed Skating - Women’s 1,000m Nao Kodaira (Japan)
15. Snowboarding - Women’s Halfpipe Chloe Kim (USA)
16. Curling - Women’s Canada
17. Luge - Doubles Toni Eggert and Sascha Benecken (Germany)
18. Speed Skating - Women’s 1,500m Miho Takagi (Japan)
19. Curling - Men’s Canada
20. Cross-Country - Women’s Relay Norway
21. Biathlon - Men’s Relay Norway
22. Cross-Country - Women’s Individual Sprint Maiken Caspersen Falla (Norway)
23. Luge - Women’s Singles Natalie Geisenberger (Germany)
24. Short Track Speed Skating - Women’s 1,500m Choi Min-jeong (South Korea)
25. Skeleton - Women’s Jacqueline Lolling (Germany)
26. Biathlon - Women’s Mass Start Laura Dahlmeier (Germany)
27. Short Track Speed Skating - Women’s 3,000m Relay South Korea
28. Alpine Skiing - Women’s Slalom Mikaela Shiffrin (USA)
29. Cross-Country - Men’s Relay Norway
30. Hockey - Women’s Canada
31. Freestyle Skiing - Women’s Aerials Xu Mengtao (China)
32. Ski Jumping - Men’s Normal Hill Kamil Stoch (Poland)
33. Biathlon - Men’s Individual Martin Fourcade (France)
34. Cross-Country - Men’s Individual Sprint Johannes Høsflot Klæbo (Norway)
35. Freestyle Skiing - Men’s Halfpipe David Wise (USA)
36. Bobsled - Four-Man Lochner/Bluhm/Rasp/Weber (Germany)
37. Figure Skating - Pairs Aljona Savchenko and Bruno Massot (Germany)
38. Snowboarding - Women’s Slopestyle Jamie Anderson (USA)
39. Cross-Country - Women’s Team Sprint Norway
40. Nordic Combined - Men’s Large Hill Akito Watabe (Japan)
41. Speed Skating - Men’s Mass Start Lee Seung-hoon (South Korea)
42. Alpine Skiing - Men’s Giant Slalom Marcel Hirscher (Austria)
43. Short Track Speed Skating - Men’s 1,500m Hwang Dae-heon (South Korea)
44. Freestyle Skiing - Women’s Halfpipe Maddie Bowman (USA)
45. Alpine Skiing - Women’s Downhill Lindsey Vonn (USA)
46. Biathlon - Men’s Pursuit Johannes Thingnes Bø (Norway)
47. Bobsled - Women’s Kaillie Humphries/Phylicia George (Canada)
48. Cross-Country Skiing - Men’s 50km Mass Start Classical Alex Harvey (Canada)
49. Figure Skating - Men’s Nathan Chen (USA)
50. Nordic Combined - Men’s Normal Hill Johannes Rydzek (Germany)
51. Biathlon - Men’s Mass Start Martin Fourcade (France)
52. Short Track Speed Skating - Men’s 5,000m Relay South Korea
53. Cross-Country - Men’s 15km Freestyle Martin Johnsrud Sundby (Norway)
54. Speed Skating - Men’s 1,000m Kai Verbij (Netherlands)
55. Snowboarding - Men’s Big Air Max Parrot (Canada)
56. Alpine Skiing - Women’s Giant Slalom Tessa Worley (France)
57. Figure Skating - Women’s Evgenia Medvedeva (OAR/Russia)
58. Speed Skating - Women’s Team Pursuit Japan
59. Freestyle Skiing- Women’s Moguls Britteny Cox (Australia)
60. Ski Jumping - Men’s Large Hill Kamil Stoch (Poland)
61. Speed Skating - Men’s 1,500m Koen Verweij (Netherlands)
62. Alpine Skiing - Women’s Super G Lara Gut (Switzerland)
63. Cross-Country - Men’s 30km Skiathlon Martin Johnsrud Sundby (Norway)
64. Speed Skating - Women’s Mass Start Kim Bo-reum (South Korea)
65. Figure Skating - Team Event Canada
66. Snowboarding - Men’s Slopestyle Marcus Kleveland (Norway)
67. Freestyle Skiing - Men’s Aerials Anton Kushnir (Belarus)
68. Alpine Skiing - Men’s Combined Alexis Pinturault (France)
69. Cross-Country - Women’s 10km Freestyle Charlotte Kalla (Sweden)
70. Speed Skating - Men’s 10,000m Ted-Jan Bloemen (Canada)
71. Biathlon - Women’s Relay Germany
72. Snowboarding - Men’s Parallel Giant Slalom Nevin Galmarini (Switzerland)
73. Cross-Country - Men’s Team Sprint Norway
74. Short Track Speed Skating - Men’s 500m Wu Dajing (China)
75. Biathlon - Women’s Pursuit Kaisa Makarainen (Finland)
76. Speed Skating - Men’s Team Pursuit Netherlands
77. Cross-Country - Women’s 15m Skiathlon Marit Bjørgen (Norway)
78. Hockey - Men’s Russia (OAR)
79. Curling - Mixed Doubles Switzerland
80. Figure Skating - Ice Dancing Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron (France)
81. Snowboarding - Women’s Snowboard Cross Lindsey Jacobellis (USA)
82. Speed Skating - Men’s 500m Ronald Mulder (Netherlands)
83. Alpine Skiing - Women’s Combined Wendy Holdener (Switzerland)
84. Freestyle Skiing - Men’s Slopestyle Oystein Braaten (Norway)
85. Biathlon - Mixed Relay France
86. Alpine Skiing - Mixed Event Austria
87. Cross-Country Skiing - Women’s 30km Mass Start Classical Marit Bjørgen (Norway)
88. Freestyle Skiing - Women’s Slopestyle Maggie Voisin (USA)
89. Short Track Speed Skating - Women’s 1,000m Kim Boutin (Canada)
90. Ski Jumping - Men’s Team Norway
91. Snowboarding - Men’s Snowboard Cross Pierre Vaultier (France)
92. Freestyle Skiing - Men’s Ski Cross Jean-Frédéric Chapuis (France)
93. Snowboarding - Men’s Halfpipe Ayumu Hirano (Japan)
94. Speed Skating - Women’s 5,000m Esmee Visser (Netherlands)
95. Alpine Skiing - Men’s Downhill Beat Feuz (Switzerland)
96. Biathlon - Women’s Individual Darya Domracheva (Belarus)
97. Speed Skating - Men’s 5,000m Ted-Jan Bloemen (Canada)
98. Short Track Speed Skating - Men’s 1,000m Seo Yi-ra (South Korea)
99. Speed Skating - Women’s 3,000m Ireen Wuest (Netherlands)
100. Alpine Skiing - Men’s Super G Aksel Lund Svindal (Norway)
101. Short Track Speed Skating- Women’s 500m Marianne St-Gelais (Canada)
102. Bobsled - Two-Man Won Yun-jong/Seo Young-Woo (South Korea)
Fantasy Olympics Rules
Select 10 countries. The total budget for your 10 countries cannot exceed $100.
You win points for every medal earned by your countries, as follows:
- Gold: 3 points
- Silver: 2 points
- Bronze: 1 point
Here is the price of each country:
USA $58
Germany $56
Canada $55
Norway $45
Olympic Athletes from Russia $43
Austria $37
Netherlands $27
Sweden $26
Korea $25 (both South and North together)
Switzerland $25
France $21
China $20
Italy $13
Czech Republic $11
Finland $10
Poland $10
Japan $8
Belarus $8
Slovenia $6
Australia $6
Croatia $5
Great Britain $4
Latvia $4
Slovakia $4
Estonia $4
Ukraine $2
Kazakhstan $1
Bulgaria $1
Everyone else $0
Albania
Andorra
Argentina
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Belgium
Bermuda
Bolivia
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Brazil
Chile
Colombia
Cyprus
Denmark
Ecuador
Eritrea
Georgia
Ghana
Greece
Hong Kong
Hungary
Iceland
India
Iran
Ireland
Israel
Jamaica
Kenya
Kosovo
Kyrgyzstan
Lebanon
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malaysia
Malta
Mexico
Moldova
Monaco
Mongolia
Montenegro
Morocco
New Zealand
Nigeria
Pakistan
Philippines
Portugal
Puerto Rico
Romania
San Marino
Serbia
Singapore
South Africa
Spain
Chinese Taipei (Taiwan)
Thailand
Timor-Leste
Togo
Tonga
Turkey
Uzbekistan
Akiva Wienerkur (@Keev26), hosts 32 Fans, which recently had the best true crime episode of any football podcast ever.