Sidney Crosby Hits Guy In The Dick, Scores Incredible One-Handed Goal

In the opening minutes of the Pittsburgh Penguins game against the Buffalo Sabres, Sidney Crosby whacked Ryan O’Reilly right in the dick and balls with a casual nonchalance that would make Draymond proud. Seeing how O’Reilly crumpled to the ice, though, this didn’t look like much of a love tap:

Then in the waning seconds of the first period, the NHL points leader pulled off something as brilliant as his dick-targeting was diabolical. Crosby fended off traffic and flicked his wrist to net an incredible one-handed goal.

Sidney Crosby contains multitudes.