On New Year's Day in Philly, we have something called the Mummer's Parade. Stripped down to its basics, it's an event in which men dress in feathers, a wide array of costumes or as women and prance down Broad Street. Some people think it's a grand time. They're entitled to that opinion, I guess.
What also happens on Mummers Night is a boatload of drinking down in South Philly. The streets run yellow with urine.
But what happened this Mummers Night — on "Two Street" at Pierce — made its way onto YouTube. You'll likely need some Rosetta Stone-esque help, so here's what the Inquirer provided:
A few mummers dressed in pink as wenches enter the fray and people start shoving each other. One of the wenches makes his way to confront a paradegoer in the crowd gathered on the sidewalk. The paradegoer then jumps the barricade, which comes crashing down and the crowd spills into the street.
A few mummers dressed in pink as wenches. Yes. That's what you read. And that's also what you'll see in that video — taken by a Two Street Narc who doesn't know how to hold the phone to properly capture video. You'll also see grown men sporting varsity jackets representing their respective prancing clubs.
Explains cinematographer "JerzBarbie09" in the YouTube comments:
IT HAPPEND AROUND 9PM. ON 2ND N PEIRCE THE MUMMER IN GREEN CAP STARTED W MY GUY FRIENDS TWO SEPERATE TIMES TRYIN TO PICK A FIGHT,CAUSE HE WAS REALLY DRUNK... AND WHEN I WALKED THRU THE CROWD N SAW THE SAME DRUNK MUMMER STARTING W OTHER PPL I DECIDED TO START RECORDING CAUSE I KNEW HE WAS GONNA GET HIS ASS BEAT LOL
To which "2StJoe" retorted:
hey jersey barbie stay off of 2st dont come back you got no business being there or posting this video for your 5 mins of fame. posting something like this effects more people then you can possibly imagine that 2st parade aint for you or any other outsiders its for the mummers and their families. go to broad if you wanna see us stay out of our neighborhood
JerzBarbie later noted that, "I have Mummers blaming me for causing problems for them when the real problem is they put many innocent families in danger by causing a huge brawl during the parade." Sanest thing yet.
Anyway, some say the parade itself is a quirky tradition of which a city should be proud. I say they've clearly never seen themselves in action. Anyway, the cops are looking into it all, which they wouldn't have dared done if Frank Rizzo was still around.
In Other Tuesday Night Fights ...
• "Arabic Gang Fight!"
• Twin City Steel and Minnesota Flying Aces fight.
Bat-Wielding Attack In Gotham Intermission:
• "Monster Street Brawl Everyone Wants In On The Action"
• "Brawl in the ABQ Streets"
Your Guy Picks Fights He Can't Win Interlude:
• "YOU BETTER PAY YOUR FAIR IN SCOTLAND OR THIS WILL HAPPEN."
• New Years Eve Brawl on the TTC.
Your Brawling New Bride On New Year's Eve Coda: