Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.
What we're watching: Sir Alex Ferguson thinks when his Manchester United side faces off against Liverpool — as they are right now — it's a bigger club match than those El Clásicos pitting Barcelona against Real Madrid.
Per BBC Sport, he said, "You know the difference - Barcelona's one end of the country, Madrid the other. The fans don't travel [in Spain]. The only game that can rival United-Liverpool is Rangers-Celtic."
If he's talking purely travel distance, this is like saying a Ravens-Redskins game is the biggest game in American football. Which it isn't.
If he's talking caliber of play, he'd probably have to rethink any Barca/Real comparisons right about now. This morning's was a first half of geeked-up players bouncing about from one unsettled set to the next. That Nani, Rooney, Chicharito and Andy Carroll rode the bench throughout probably covers those problems. Hell. it took 35 minutes for the first big-time scoring opportunity, and it was Liverpool's Luis Suarez who juked a defender at point-blank goal range but failed to convert.
But he's talking history and fan investment, which is fine. He knows European football much better than most. So, it's probably worth flipping over to ESPN2 to catch the 16-minutes-old second half before your Day of College Football commences. This game could very well settle into the sights-to-behold phase despite John Henry's involvement-from-afar.
Elsewhere
The Cardinals are one win away from the World Series: "The Milwaukee Brewers picked a very bad time Friday night to put their worst gloves forward, gift-wrapping enough runs for the St. Louis Cardinals to pull away to a 7-1 victory in Game 5 of the National League Championship Series at Busch Stadium. The sloppy, four-error defeat put the Brewers in a 3-2 hole in the series and forces them to win two games at home to advance to the World Series. Game 6 will be played Sunday at Miller Park. 'I'm sure we're going to come out and play a good game,' said manager Ron Roenicke." [Journal Sentinel]
The Brewers third baseman probably won't watch the lowlights: "The Brewers set their infield in, and it paid off as [Jerry] Hairston robbed Nick Punto of a run-scoring hit by making a diving catch. There wasn't much time for Milwaukee to savor the terrific catch, because Jaime Garcia tapped the next pitch to Hairston. But the routine grounder went through Hairston's legs for a two-out error. Freese was scoring easily, and any chance to throw Molina out at the plate was erased when Hairston made contact with the runner." [MLB]
San Jose/Hawaii game featured 12 turnovers: "Chandler Jones caught a 37-yard touchdown pass from Matt Faulkner with 36 seconds remaining, and San Jose State rallied to beat Hawaii 28-27 on Friday night in a wild game with six turnovers by each team. Fans stormed the field in celebration, and players and coaches danced along with them. A year after winning only once, the Spartans (3-4, 2-1) have reason to dance: They've won three of their last four games and are no longer pushovers in the Western Athletic Conference." [USA Today]
NBA players disagree about whether they're in disagreement: "'There's definitely some guys in there saying that they're ready to fold,' Washington Wizards center JaVale McGee said. 'But the majority are ready to stand strong.' Bucks forward Luc Richard Mbah a Moute disagreed with McGee, saying 'there's no such thing as player folding.'" [ESPN]
Sex From Above: "'I didn't know it until one of the officers came over from the Taft Police Department and informed me this was going around the kids in school and stuff,' says Dave Chrouch, owner skydive taft. The video shows Torres and Hope Howell, a receptionist at the Skydive School having sex in a plane before jumping out in tandem and continuing the act mid-air. 'I was really surprised.' Chrouch says the video was a stunt Torres put together to get the attention of Howard Stern." [KGET]
Your NSFW Greenwich Village McDonald's Worker Beats Customers With A Metal Rod Interlude:
Bernard Hopkins fights Chad Dawson tonight, and George Foreman is pleased: "Hopkins is defending his title just five months after winning it, and Foreman likes that. 'I think he can box till he's 60,' Foreman said." [L.A. Times]
The Cowboys vehemently deny their duds are made in Salvadorean sweatshops, though: "On Wednesday, the Pittsburgh-based Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights issued a report titled Dressing Babies in Sweatshop Clothing: Dallas Cowboys, Ohio State and a Creepy Business, in which it alleged that the Cowboys are having team-branded clothing made in 'gross sweatshop conditions at the Style Avenue factory in El Salvador.'" [Dallas Observer]
Hutnik Krakow isn't the only Polish Eastern European soccer team with a 2012 nudie calendar: "These bold pictures Bohemians 1905 football fans will enjoy ... every day, glancing at his face. Soon they will be released on the market as a club calendar for 2012!" [SportFan] (H/T Jeremy)
Today's Soccer Viewing Recommendations: Damn good weekend. Upcoming matches: Man City vs. Aston Villa (Fox Soccer Channel, 10 a.m.); Chelsea vs. Everton (12:30 p.m., FSC); Barcelona vs. Racing Santander (2 p.m., GolTV); AC Milan vs. Palermo (2:30 p.m., FSC); San Jose vs. Seattle (10:30 p.m., FSC).
Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.