The Super Bowl is about three things, in no particular order because that's not the riot we're here to start today: 1. The Football 2. The Commercials 3. The Food. Maybe The Halftime Show too, but that mostly depends on whether or not we get to see some nipple action.
There probably will never be a consensus about what is The Ultimate Super Bowl Food. Strong arguments can be made for wings, sure. Also for pizza. And certainly chili is a contender for the title. But one indisputable fact is that no Super Bowl party is complete without dip. And so we are here to determine and crown The Ultimate Super Bowl Dip, via our Dip Playoffs.
There are, as you might imagine, some notes on these playoffs:
- Salsa is its own division because SALSAAAAAAA.
- Black bean dip is a separate thing entirely from black bean salsa—one is blended to a smooth consistency and one is not. The appearance of black beans twice in the bracket is not a mistake.
- Cases can be made for divisional realignment. Go ahead and make them, but the seedings have already been set so tough noogies for you.
- We included that miserable Skyline Chili dreck because it's fun to watch you weirdos get riled up about it.
- If you're unfamiliar with any of the entrants, by all means check out this really great internet website called google dot com.
- There are 32 entrants because there are 32 NFL teams. And also because it's actually surprisingly hard to come up with more than 32 dips.
- HOWEVER. You will assuredly make great hay out of any and all omissions because screaming on the internet is so deeply satisfying. Scream away. We'll be eating dip, what do we care?
Here are the full seedings, with the bracket by Sam Woolley above.
CREAMY/CHEESY DIVISION
- Onion Dip
- Ranch Dip
- Queso/Velveeta & Rotel
- Pub Cheese
- Horseradish Dill Dip
- Blue Cheese Dip
- Tzatziki
- Vegetable Soup Mix Dip
PLANTLIFE DIVISION
- Guacamole
- Spinach & Artichoke Dip
- Hummus
- Pinto/Refried Bean Dip
- Black Bean Dip
- Tapenade
- Roasted Red Pepper Dip
- Baba Ghanoush
SALSA DIVISION
- Classic Salsa
- Pico De Gallo
- Salsa Verde
- Peach Salsa
- Mango Salsa
- Chipotle Salsa
- Corn Salsa
- Black Bean Salsa
MEAT/POULTRY/SEAFOOD DIVISION
- Buffalo Chicken Dip
- Crab Dip (Potted Crab)
- Seven Layer/Taco Dip
- Loaded Baked Potato Dip
- Pepperoni Pizza Dip
- Skyline Chili Dip
- Shrimp Dip
- Reuben Dip
Git to votin'! (Why did we just turn Southern?)
You have until noon EST tomorrow (Wednesday, January 29) to cast your votes before we move onto the next round.