Just like last year, we're showcasing the people, ideas and memes that made Deadspin 2009 shine. Today: Horrific Injuries
Once again, sport has provided us with 12 months of pain, misery and near-death—which we have all enjoyed from the comfort of plush furniture with no sharp corners that could ever possibly do us damage. Here's the best of the worst from the fascinating field of medical science.
Ryan Clark started the year off right by knocking out Willis McGahee. And himself.
Umpire Kerwin Danley got beaned in the head. Again.
Adam Burish walks into a barber shop. Asks for "The Malarchuk."
Greg Oden ... blah blah ... career ending ... blah blah.
Even fans are not immune to life-altering slips and falls. They usually aren't from the roof of a sports bar, but still.
The one injury report you don't want to see: "N. Lidstrom, Questionable (Gonads)." (Adrian Beltre agrees.)
Even Erin Andrews took one on the chin. NOT A EUPHEMISM!
Stafon Johnson's Famous Last Words: "Nah, I don't need a spotter."
Relax. Jahvid Best is not dead. Just really, really not awake.
Remind me again ... do professional arm wrestlers need both their elbows?
Hey, baby. Want to come over and see my horriblly disfigured knuckles?
Blake Giffin's knees gave out the moment the Clippers won the draft lottery. He just didn't know yet.
Felipe Massa will stick to safer thoroughfares from now on. Like the highway between Kabul and Kandahar. [Photo via Getty]
BAD GOALIE! BAD!
Referees are usually safe from knee injuries. Tim Donaghy is not a typical referree.
It wouldn't be a horrific injury roundup without a soccer player being terribly disfigured now, would it?
E.J. Henderson was never a big fan of "walking" anyway.
Texas A&M's Derrick Roland got this one in just under the wire. The wire that will be used to reconstruct his severed shin bone.
And the coup de grace. Israel Lancho, how you like them apples?